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Katt1970 
4:10pm Sunday
Sigh! I've tried to keep myself busy today. This is the first long weekend without him. It's very lonely around here. Don't get me wrong, I don't miss the drama. I'm just lonely.
I hate that he's in jail for the holiday, but he got himself there. I don't think that I'm dealing with the abuse part of our problems. I am pushing it to the back of my mind and/or trying to make it less than it really was. Maybe I secretly hope he will change after all this. I know he won't. I just miss him and I hate it.
I wish that this would be an eye opener for him to see that he needs help and would get it. That way we could be together like we were in the beginning. It's stupid for me to think that might ever happen...I won't be holding my breath for it.
If I could just shut off my feelings for him, this would be so much easier to deal with. Sometimes I find myself talking to him like he's still here. Crazy huh?
I wonder, does he think about me, is he sorry for what he done or is he sorry that he got caught. Does he have plans as to what he will do and where he will go when he gets out of jail? Will I ever see him again? I shouldn't even be thinking about these things. I can't help it. I miss him and I hate it.
I feel so twisted up inside.
