I did this to myself.
November 22, 2009 6:25pm
So much for "nothing new". I been cruising along for the last month, pulling myself out of the funk his phone calls put me into and was …
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Katt1970
4:10pm
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About Me
Katt1970
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About Me
I am recently divorced. Spent the last 2 1/2 years in a physical and emotionally abusive relationship. Now, I'm trying to pick up the pieces of my life. I don't have any children, unless you count my four cats, 1 bird and a dog, which I do. I have a niece that I couldn't love more if she were my child. I'm just looking for peace and tranquility in my life.
I am recently divorced. Spent the last 2 1/2 years in a physical and emotionally abusive relationship. Now, I'm trying to pick up the pieces of my life. I don't have any children, unless you count my four cats, 1 bird and a dog, which I do. I have a niece that I couldn't love more if she were my child. I'm just looking for peace and tranquility in my life.
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Interests
I enjoy music of all types, especially rock and roll. Bob Seger is THE MAN...he speaks to my soul. I am an animal lover through and through. I love reading, spending time with my family and friends and trying to make my life as wonderful as it can be.
I enjoy music of all types, especially rock and roll. Bob Seger is THE MAN...he speaks to my soul. I
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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6 journal comments, 4 hugs received, 3 journal posts, 2 photo comments, 2 hugs given
Yesterday
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Katt1970 gave niko30 a hug 7:28pm
Hi Niko! Thank you for the hug and the words of encouragement. I really needed it today. I'm sorry that…
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Katt1970 wrote a journal entry: I did this to myself. 6:25pm
So much for "nothing new". I been cruising along for the last month, pulling myself out of…
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Katt1970 updated their status 4:10pm
Bad day!…
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Katt1970 changed their mood to Horrible 4:10pm
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Journal
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Nothing new...
November 21, 2009 7:13pm
Nothing new is happening. I just noticed that I'm not journaling as much as I was in the beginning. I don't know what kind of sign that …
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Dreading the Holidays.
November 17, 2009 9:49pm
I feel like I'm on the down hill slide again. Had a good couple of days. Got out with my niece and had some fun.
Now, it's time to think …
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Good With My Niece.
November 15, 2009 7:33pm
I finally did something for myself today...besides sitting at home and thinking.
My niece came over last night when I got off work. We sat …
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Pondering my Self-Worth
November 11, 2009 9:15pm
I feel like I'm doing fairly well on the whole "missing" him thing. All I have to do is think about the things I've heard about him …
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Hugbook
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Hug
i know exactly how you feel. I am in the same situation. It feels more than pain. Indescribable feeling of pain and losses, of dreams that shattered. I went to church yesterday after 4 years of absent. It felt good. I have less trouble sleeping last night. Nightmares were still there but i woke up with less trouble than before.
Were separated for 1 mo now. As you can imagine it is super fresh. I just summoned my strength to focus and remember that i still have my 2 children.
Also like you i recently found out that my ex and her lover uploaded a video on you tube recording my sons tantrums. I hyperventilated (i dont even know what this means but i think this is the right word). This was during the time that i still have no idea of their immorality. but anyway my family's support although they cannot feel how i feel helps me a lot. If your religious, try asking for His help. I know it will help you and I. This may take for a long while but thats how it is supposed to be. 1 Step forward today and 1 and half step tomorrow. 
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Hey Katt! I hope you're having a great weekend...doing something fun for you. I did something for me last Friday when I got my brows done and it was worth the pain. I love the result I got. I am still not looking forward to Thanksgiving but I am looking to the day off from work. Remember don't kick the baby, Katt. (((Hugs)))
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Hi Katt,
I encourage you to not focus so much on being med free. Your focus is and should remain on reducing your depression and anxiety. I will be on medication for either my CF or to not reject my transplanted organs the rest of my life. If the worse thing you have to deal with each day is swallowing a few pills you should count yourself blessed. Think about the crap you have been through and survived already and the accompanying depression and anxiety caused by that trauma. People get the idea that if you are taking medicine you are weak. This is total crap because think about it, it takes courage to ask for help AND accept it. Every time you refill your medication you demonstrate your determination to not let your past rule your present and rob you of your future. I was placed on both anti-anxiety and anti-depression medications for some reason by my doctor because she believes that slowly suffocating creates anxiety and is depressing. LOL. Also just because you are not journaling as much as you were is not a bad sign. If you are now doing something you enjoy more or are not avoiding journaling because of fear of pain or discomfort that is perfectly fine. Find something you enjoy and do as much of it as you want to and can afford.
Good luck,
Kaiser Willy-
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Awwww I like that hug. Thanks Katt for your encouragement. Hugs to you.
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Katt you are stronger than you think. I was ignored not abused. You've worked thru a lot to get where you are now. Enjoy this time and keep moving forward.
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Physical & Emotional Abuse
I'm looking for support from others beside my family and close friends. They don't seem to understand why I seem to be having trouble moving forward.
Treatments
- Abuse Counseling Not Working
- I guess it didn't work because I didn't stick with it. I was working two jobs to support myself and it got too costly.
- Divorce Working / Worked
- I was put in a position where I felt I had no other choice but to file for divorce. It's very hard to deal with emotionally. It's getting better each day.
- Forgiveness Somewhat Helpful
- I guess I've forgiven him. I realize he's sick and I don't hate him. I don't want bitterness and resentment to poison my life.
- Leave Working / Worked
- Actually, he was physically removed from our home. The first couple of weeks without him I was emotionally distraught, but I'm getting used to the peace and tranquilty.
- Talking Working / Worked
- It seems if I talk about it I don't have such big emotional break downs when I'm alone.
- Xanax Somewhat Helpful
- It helps to keep me from going into emotional overload and prevents the panicanxiety that I feel due to my current situation.
Close Breakups & Divorce
I am looking for additional support, besides my family and friends to deal with my emotions after filing for divorce.
Treatments
- Music Working / Worked
- It calms me!
- Pets Working / Worked
- My animals, 4 cats, 1 dog, and a bird are my babies. They keep me sane!
- Reading Somewhat Helpful
- I'm easily distracted right now.
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- They are all trying to help. My soon to be ex is NOT their favorite subject at the moment.
- Support Groups Working / Worked
- I'm glad I found this website! It's opened my eyes to the fact that I'm not alone.
- Talking Working / Worked
- It seems to be easing the pain. I still have my emotional moments though and probably will for awhile.
Open Anxiety
I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. Looking for addtional support to deal with this besides family and friends.
Treatments
- Breathing Exercises Somewhat Helpful
- If I can just remember to breath.
- Lexapro Not Working
- Lexapro made me bruise very easily.
- Meditation Considering
- Tried it once, but was ridiculed for looking for an outlet to lessen the anxiety, which created more anxiety.
- Paxil Not Working
- Didn't seem to do the trick.
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- Happy thought of a peaceful future ease the anxiety some.
- Xanax Working / Worked
- It's what I I fall back on when that anxious feeling starts creeping up on me and I feel like I want to run away screaming.
Open Obesity
Looking for support and encouragement to get control over my weight. I also hope to inspire others.
Treatments
- Physical Exercise Too Soon to Tell
- Right now, it's not working for me, because I have no will to do it. When I did it before...it worked wonderfully.
Open Depression
Treatments
- Celexa Working / Worked
- Effexor Working / Worked
- Lexapro Working / Worked
- Paxil Working / Worked
- Tried them all. Nothing seems to help. Lexapro make me bruise easily.
- Prozac Working / Worked
- Didn't work.
- Seroquel Working / Worked
- Didn't work.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Works some. There are things about my life they just don't understand though, so they don't really know how to be supportive.
- Writing Working / Worked
- Helps some. Keeps me from going completely off the edge.
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Groups
