I'm really feeling funny right now. Totally out of it. I know I'm still tired from the trip, but of course it's mainly the infidelity that is driving me mad. I really think I'm going crazy with all of this, I feel fuzzy and out of touch, sad and angry but happy at the same time, and I'm just so extremely fatiqued. We are going to D's house today for Father's Day (I don't celebrate with my father because he's a mean, abusive jerk). It will be nice to see everyone, we haven't seen them since the vacation. But I'm feeling so strange. It's probably a good thing, maybe I'm finally in the thick of the emotional storm and can come out better on the other side soon. I'm making sure to tell D about all of these feelings, because he needs to know that I am still in an extreme amount of pain and that it is his fault. But I just so wish this wasn't happening right now.
Additionally, the emotions of this are finally getting to me physically, as they always do with my Fibromyalgia. My joints hurt and I feel like I'm just dragging myself everywhere. I feel so much pain right now, but oddly, that's not the only feeling. In the past, pain has always trumped all my other feelings. I think therapy is helping me to fight that habit.





