Every time I see that Nivea commercial where the tiny girl is in the green panties using lotion to try and get back into her "skinny" jeans, I want to puke up everything I've eaten. I so tired of thinking of food as my worst enemy and my only friend. I had a healthy breakfast-eggs, toast, cereal with strawberries. So why do I hate having eaten at all? I'm going to try not to count calories for awhile. I've been doing it for so long and it's like second nature, but I'm sure it makes me obsess too much. Here's how it usually goes: Count calories carefully until mental breakdown when I freak out and eat everything in the house. Promise myself to do better the next day. Repeat. It's seriously not helping. I just don't want to think about food anymore at all, but I'm afraid if I don't then I'll gain 100 lbs. Hopefully it will be the opposite. Except I don't have 100 lbs to lose. Or do I?





