CheriS's Journal

Well this has been a good week... i've been exercising daily, eating pretty healthy and feeling much better about myself.  I almost feel as if I'm back to the old me.  Still have some sad moments, but I saw a posting on here that hit home for me...  it had to do with the fact that the man my husband is today is not the man I married... I can mourn the loss of that man, and of our marriage, but I think I finally get it that he is not the man I thought he was.  We all change as we go thru life, but some not for the better.  He turned into the thing he despised, a liar and a cheat and I feel sorry for him for he won't reap anything good from that.  I still hurt sometime when I think about how good our relationship was in the beginning, the first 4 years, even with the trials we had to go thru we were together facing them...the last 4 we weren't.  I hope for his sake that one day he will face up to his part in the downfall of our relationship, because he will never be truly happy until he does, and he will bring heartache to anyone else that loves him if he continues to run away from reality...but I can't go so far as to feel pity for the whore that he is with.  I guess that could be petty of me, but so be it.  I'm honest!  She knew he was a married man, yet that didn't matter, so she deserves what she gets. 

Ahh well enough about the stbx, got to keep my focus on me... on building up my energy level every day, on exercising and getting this weight off so I can feel good about myself in that aspect.  I may even go out on a date soon.  I'm not ready for anything serious but I refuse to sit in the house and wither away anymore.  Been there done that for the past couple of years and THATS OVER!