bonny526's Journal

I saw my new psychiatrist today and she says I have "atypical anxiety".  A little GAD, a little panic disorder, a little OCD, a little PTSD, and a little social anxiety, and some major depression thrown in there as well (you know, just for shits and giggles). I think it's actually quite typical for anxious people to have a bit of everything.  Comorbidity for these disorders is high.  Anyway, we agreed to start me on Prozac, which I've tried very briefly before and had no real problems with.  I only took it for like 2 weeks before requesting to be put on luvox, thinking it would be more effective for my obsessive thoughts.  Anyway, I don't get really strong side effects from it, which is good since I'm very sensitive to side effects. VERY sensitive.  I get sick on a .5mg dose of klonopin.  I also take that as needed for my panic attacks.

I sort of don't know what I think about being on medication again, and new medication at that.  Half of me is hoping it's really going to help this time and the other half of me knows that the medication will only mask the symptoms until I can target the deeper problem that causes my anxiety---my home environment.  Until I can fully get free from here, I don't know if I can be someone who's not anxious and not depressed.  Therapy can help me cope with the day-to-day and how I react to my environment, but what can the medication really do?  It might make me feel a little better, maybe I'll have more energy or sleep better.  MAYBE.  But I've never been on a medication that has significantly limited the amount of panic attacks I have, with the exception of maybe Paxil.  But there's no way I'll go back on that.  The withdrawal even for just accidentally missing a dose is like hell and God knows what kind of long-term effects there may be from going through that kind of withdrawal.  I just don't know what I think anymore, but I had to make some kind of decision.  I want to get better, and if I get better with medication, then I guess it doesn't really matter if I got better my way or not.