mamabear21's Journal

Listening to our hearts........ummmm.  Have any of you ever thought about this?  I have been pondering the thought of "Why didn't I just listen to my heart?"  I mean after all, our very own hearts are our very best friends if we think about it.........I remember when I went gambling that I would always make it right in my mind to justify my addiction.  It didn't matter if I won or lost because as long as I was feeding my addiction, everything was A-Okay in my mind.  I would use any excuse in the book to justify all of it.  I would rather cover up than fess up.  Putting myself and my dear family through all of that made me realize that lieing, cheating, being deceitful, being dishonest, disrespecting can never hide the root problem of a gambling addiction.  But, let me tell you that deep inside my heart of hearts, I knew that what I was doing was wrong.  I was old enough to know right from wrong, but because I didn't listen to my heart, I found myself in a terrible predicament.  But now, I have acknowledged and confessed to myself, to my family and to my Lord, and that feeling is one that I will never lose.  There is no quick surface fix to this situation, but there is forgiveness, acceptance, love, kindness, prayer and all of the wonderful people here at daily strength that offer the most needed support for our road to recovery.  Never let guilt or shame keep you away from recovery.  Continually seek and reach for success each and every day.  Never believe that you or your life is such a mess there is no answer or that no one cares.  Remember that YOU are worth forgiveness, acceptance, love, kindness, and all of the PRAYERS that you deserve!  I just wanted to send some love and support to everyone here at daily strength.  I just want to say God Bless You to all of my friends, and remember, I am willing to listen and respond to each and everyone here.  You have all been so supportive and kind, and I wanted to remind you all how wonderful YOU are and how much YOU have meant to me in my own road to recovery.  Love to you all!  :-)  Mamabear21