hmmm
July 21, 2009 11:23pm
I have noticed lately that I am really identified with my emotions and that I let this feed off of itself and in essense become me, when that is …
Progress
45 %
boydka 
2:33pm, July 22, 2009
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About Me
boydka
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About Me
I am a 28 year old single mother originally from New England that is struggling to go to school to get a degree, and take care of my 8 year old daughter. I have had substance abuse issues off and on for as long as I can remember. I am artistic, passionate, idealistic and impulsive and have felt that my life since I had my daughter at twenty has been a series of misfortunes and the unability to fix my damaged life. I suffer from extreme anxiety and panic attacks and have been on meds and even admitted myself to 2 mental hospitals but nothing has seemed to change. I am just tired of not being the master of my own life and feeling powerless to change it.
I am a 28 year old single mother originally from New England that is struggling to go to school to get a degree, and take care of my 8 year old daughter. I have had substance abuse issues off and on for as long as I can remember. I am artistic, passionate, idealistic and impulsive and have felt that my life since I had my daughter at twenty has been a series of misfortunes and the unability to fix my damaged life. I suffer from extreme anxiety and panic attacks and have been on meds and even admitted
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Wtf
July 16, 2009 7:28pm
I had my last day of speech class and was siked to see my grade on my "Random Acts of Kindness" persuasive speech, since she remarked that …
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Its all around me
July 13, 2009 4:27pm
I am not smoking or drinking today and I feel hopeful, a rare emotion for me. What is frustrating is that alcohol and smokes are all around me, I …
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thank you
July 11, 2009 8:48am
I havent had time to respond to everyone's posts because I have been studying like mad for a math test and now I have to work but I just wanted …
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no more smokes
June 29, 2009 2:54pm
Today is the first day I decided to quit smoking. Its really hard. I want to so bad. I HATE smoking and want nothing more than to be healthy and …
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Hugbook
Hug
The games on SA&R (Smoking Addiction & Recovery) are going slow... I'm sending out hugs in case some have forgotten that they are there... These have helped me so much in my quit... Congratulations to all for not smoking... ~CJ~ http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Smo... http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Smo...
I’m With You
The more distance you put between you and your last smoke, the stronger your resolve.....it's like your determination grows muscle. You REALLY need to set a goal....like, "Hell or high water, I AM NOT going to smoke for 2 weeks". Then, no matter what (and plenty"no matter what" may come) stick to it. You can't really take yourself seriously until you get some mileage out of this Quit business. At the end of 2 weeks you will feel so differently....stronger etc. It ain't easy, but SO worth it ((GRIN))
Hug
Yes- one day, one step at a time is the way- be good to yourself and rejoice in every small step towards your goal. Patience my dear- the days will start adding up and you can be free!!!!One day at a time!!! One minute at a time some days. No more drinking for right now- alcohol lowers your resistance and you dont want the temptations. You are woman- you are strong- I hear you roar!!!!!
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Hug
Just remember- you're the only mom your daughter knows and she's going to love you no matter what. When we feel good about ourselves we feel like a better parent. Don't be too hard on yourself- but try to find a place of peace. When I finally let go of the 'should haves' I began to live much happier.
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Flower
I'm sorry your having a hard time. I'm a single mother of 2 girls and know the difficulties it brings. But hang in there- a new day is always the promise for something better. It helped me alot to think of my daughters not having their mom around when I quit smoking. The thought terrified me into quitting. I posted a picture of them w/my top 10 reasons to quit on my computer and looked at it everyday. good luck
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Support Groups
Close Depression
: Clinical (Major) Depressionboydka hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Close Anxiety
I am so anxious all of the time that I need to reach out to someone before I snap.
Treatments
Open Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety
I need support about my extreme social phobias and panic.
Open Smoking Addiction & Recovery
I want to be FREE!
Treatments
- Cold Turkey Working / Worked
- obviously not for long
- Nicotine Patch Working / Worked
- i didnt have much choice since I was hospitalized
- Willpower Working / Worked
- It ran out
Open Alcoholism
I am my own worst enemy and alcohol has severely impacted all aspects of my life.
Treatments
- 12 Step Program Not Working
- AA Meetings Not Working
- got anxiety being there and hit on all of the time
- Cold Turkey Not Working
- Outpatient Treatment Program Not Working
- I feel like no one really understands me and my relationship with substances. No one helped me.
- Residential Treatment Center Not Working
- rehab was a joke
- Sleep Somewhat Helpful
- i dont drink when im asleep
