claire36's Journal

wel a lot happened jus recently

my eldest daughter went to 'bch' on tuesday for a big test

well what a lot of emotions it sprung in me

you see i used to call my eldest daughter havin an op at 'bch' my trigger

hhhmmm ye ts not folks btw it was jus my bloody excuse to drink

simple as

so ye mon night i find meself bac in the same old behaviour pattern of wanting a drink

first time ive seroiusly craved drink in my 5 months of being sober

so what did i do about it

simple

i surrounded meself with other alchaholics

i went to a meeting monday night and again tues night after she had ad the test done

and yes i found it very hard to go thru the cravings and yes i found meself resorting to an old behaviour on monday afternoon but you know what I DID NOT DRINK

absolutly fantastic

so tonigh im going out

will be the first time ive gone out ot a wet place

but im looking forward to it

i will be with other alchaholics

so i will be safe

and ye it is jus about me being safe atm

and if that is what elps me to do this i simple will do it

going to watch a live band at granviless in stone

ad yep i am aware that the last time i was their infeb this year i was drunk

but i am going to go out with my friends and have a bloody good time

simple as

i will tell you all how i got on after tonight

and if i have to leave early so what

im allowed to do that

simple as

xxx