irishdreams's Journal

A stupid fool I am for believing that my bf really loved me and cared about me.  After he got out of jail  and I home from the hospital all was great.  I guess I wanted to believe that everything would be great so bad that I missed the tell tell signs of abuse coming.  After being sick for 2 months , with pneumonia, then pollups (cysts) in my sinus causing, severe migraines, fluid build up in my ears which inturn has caused extreme vertigo (motion sickness), and nausea and pressure on my optic nerves making my eyes hurt and if that wasnt enough I seem to have somehow have ended up with strep throat.  I am very very sick and my bf has resented me for it.  Hes really pissed off because I was too sick to do a photo shoot with a non paying client, that he set up knowing how sick I was. He said bad things to me and has ignored me all day while I lay in bed, alone and miserable, too sick to even fix myself something to eat.  I know now that I deserve someone who will not put them selves first.  Noone is worth my tears, and the one who is, will not make me cry,  that is my new motto.  All I need is money to move and get my own place which will be impossible until I get better and am able to work again....I am soooo damn depressed