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brusk 
9:30am, June 29, 2009
I’ve been thinking about cancer patients and their caregivers. The cancer patient can immediately drop life as he or she has known it. Of course, my friend Almalee plodded through her lymphoma, taking chemo on weekends, losing her hair and suffering all the usual ails. The whole time, though, she continued working at her satisfying, executive-level career. Some of her colleagues never even knew she had cancer.
For me, though, life came to a near halt. I couldn’t continue my missionary career in Africa, nor could I even move about freely in the U.S. What with low immunities and swine flu on the rise, the doctors pressed me to understand that catching the flu could be deadly. Talk about cabin fever. I have continued to work on the four books for mothers that I began in Africa, copyrighting them and translating some of them into eight languages (and counting). I’ve given Foursquare Missions Press permission to print them for missionaries and leades to use. Believe it or not, the Press will send copies free of charge to church workers anywhere in the world.
Let me tell you, though, cancer patients are given all kinds of latitude. “Get some rest,” people say. “Take care of yourself.” We have the prayers and pity of everyone. People I hardly know tell me they woke up in the night praying for me. (And oh, don’t I appreciate it!) Caregivers, however, have a much harder time of it. They decipher insurance charges, plot how to pay bills, drive the patient to doctor appointments, pick up prescriptions, search for a particular product that will help with a side effect (Biotene for dry mouth), and they continually deal with the fear of possibly losing a spouse. Sometimes they even talk you back from the precipice. Yes, they do all this and keep up their day job as well. Somebody’s got to pay the bills and keep that insurance going. Have I convinced myself yet how much I appreciate my husband John?
Comments
Good Morning Becki,
I always love reading your journals. It's wonderful that you are able to share your feelings with all of us.
Being a caretaker can be very hard....but not as hard as what the patient faces on a daily basis. I'd gladly trade places with my precious husband. I consider it a gift to care for him, and I cherish each moment. I have no doubt that your John feels the same way!
It's a gorgeous day here in SC. Ray and two buddies have gone to the river to fish. I'm so thankful that he's able to get out and do fun things again.
Well, Hon, you hang in there and know I'm always thinking of you.
My prayers,
Ingrid
msgrace
Yes, one thing I realized when I became chronically ill (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease) is that sickness doesn't happen to an individual. It happens to a family. Sometimes, when I am going through a bad flareup or costing money or unable to contribute financially, I am tempted to feel guilty. I don't know if this happens to people with cancer, but it happens a lot with chronic illness. Or, I won't feel well and Larry will be doing what has traditionally been "my job" after a long day of working his own and I'll feel badly. But that' is just the way it is with sickness - it's a family thing. And I thank God so much for men like John and Larry who don't run away from it but who embrace it as they embrace us. BTW, I don't mean to compare the gravity of your cancer with my UCTD -- just seeing similarities where they exist and with the wonderful husbands God blessed us with. (-: Praying for you.
linjha
There's no doubt about it - John's a Prince, if for no other reason than he married a princess. The two of you have always been a "matched pair" of quality Kingdom saints. As I read through you latest entry, and the other comments, it makes me wonder whether I would have what it takes to be a loyal care giver, if that should ever be my role as we age. There are times when I get impatient if he has a cold for a week...or when he returns this Thursday from Nigeria and is even suffering from jet lag - will I badger him to "just get on with it" and not slow our lives down. None of this - cold/jet lag - even gets on the scale of cancer or chronic illness, so if I don't fair well in the minors, would I fair well in the majors? Both sides of these stories raise such basic questions about myself and my walk of faith in Christ, i.e. would I be a "pleasant" patient for others to attend to and would I be a stedfast, compassionate care giver? This look inward comes back to your meditation on Paul's statements about rejoicing in his weaknesses so that Christ's strength could show through. By your honesty in confronting these hard questions, you're mentoring me into a deeper walk. Hopefully your new treatment has settled into something more "normal" than your first day or two. Pray for a friend here in Ptld who is in a very similar sitation. Her name is Kay. Hugs
KathyKiesel