msjan's Journal

Well, here I am again a loser.  I let him talk me out of the divorce.  I was so close, we were due in court on the 7th.  I did not want to cancel it.  He manipulated me again and I let him.  I just can't handle the stress he's been putting me under and everything that has been going on.  He absolutely does not want or intend to get divorced no matter what.  Just when I was finally getting better I thought.  My attention has been focused on the divorce and the prospect of a new life for me.  I finally started to meet other men and I'm very interested in one of them.  To the point that he is all I think about now.   Until I signed that damned form to cancel it.  Now I'm stressing again and losing control.  I want stipulations from him if we are to remain married for a while a longer.  I still want my half of the inheretance and I want to work towards my freedom.  Open marriage or whatever, I don't care at this point.  I can't believe I did it.  I just hope it was the right thing to do.