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wounded1990 
8:08am, September 6, 2009
I have a friend that may POSSIBLY die within 8 months, but what she is saying makes no sense what so ever... She says she is injesting bleech, but if she was really taking as much as she said, she would already be dead...
I have made a suicide packt with her, if and when she dies, I will follow her. I know it's sick, but I lost someone I loved dearly to suicide, and I just can't take it again...
I am sorry I am so weak, I am trying to defeat so much in so little time. My will is done and all I have left is to just go away...
I am sorry everyone, but I may not be here much longer... I really don't want to trigger anyone. I have been through so much weird crap in my life, I just... Don't care anymore...
Please forgive me, I am sorry I couldn't be the friend you all needed. You all are so strong... And just because you think I don't keep up with you all, I read EVERYTHING each of you post...
You all are such wonderful people...
Please forgive me for the mess...
~Alysha~
Comments
i got "mental hugs" from this therapist at the Penn Foundation...
It is against guidelines to hug a client (Or temporary person sitting in your office), so she said "I am giving you mental hugs"...
It was so nice...
She started weeping as I opened up to her because I feared that because I would be seeing jus a psychiatrist, that I would not be able to talk to him/her as easily...
Anyways, counselor's are trained to not show emotions to the people in their office. She said she has never heared anything like what I have been through, and she said she was sorry, but she couldn't hold back her emotions...
It was sweet, but it made me wonder, is my story THAT god awful bad????
I made me start questioning the severity of my life. I have had one counselor need counseling from me openig up, but is it THAT bad????
IDK...
ILU ALL SO MUCH!!!!
Comments
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I think you shouldnt be hard on yourself, you cant control how other people act, thats great about the counsellor, i see one too and ive learnt that they show emotions, mine does sometimes.....its good that you can open up with the things that have happened to you. glad to see the green face......just dont think too much about things, all you do over analyse....
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-hugs-
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| July 2009 |
Monday, 7/06
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Wednesday, 7/01
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Wednesday, 7/01
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June 2009 |
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Sunday, 6/28
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Saturday, 6/27
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Saturday, 6/27
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Wednesday, 6/17
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Tuesday, 6/16
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Monday, 6/15
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Thursday, 6/11
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Goal Updated
Alysha, no way, you cant do this, i can never comprehend what you have gone through but death is not what you want to go down, people care about you, i care so much about you, i just wish you would see that yes things are really bad but you can get through this, both you and Maddie, i hope you do stay, please dont do anything, death is permanent, you can get through this......
ShazzerInc
Please to you both, seek help for your depression. You can learn to manage depression. HUGS
mianutzy
So much of your life left, you never know what it may bring!
And there's no giving up. Please talk to someone in your life, seek help, you can do it.
Daisylou
I agree with everyone else here.....Get some help for your depression....Hugs to you both.
crzychik
*hugs* i can understand alot of what you're dealing with, i've been there, i'm still there with most of it. losing people you love to suicide is extremely painful, you know that. if you and maddie suicide, you will be leaving behind so many people who care about you both, and be leaving them to feel that pain. as hard as things are and have been, there is always hope that things can get better. you can get help for the depression, and other issues, and things can get better. you are stronger than you think you are, and you've proved that by surviving so much. you can survive this too. *hugs*
PorcelainSoul