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lovesinfully 
8:19pm, November 16, 2009
A piece of me longs for you.... aches for your very touch...
A touch so wrong, so powerful,and so passionate its evil....
It defies everything I have ever believed in and everything I have ever striven for.
My desire for you is beyond my control, I am not strong enough to fight it alone and weak enough to still entertain the fantasy. I carry hope that this will end, that this will be a desirous thing.this force overwelms me and is so powerful, it seems all consuming. My heart is treacherous and will stop at nothing to get it's so desired. I want to fight it and move on, but every corner I turn and move I make, you are standing there...One look and one smile, makes my heart melt over and over again... I want you to leave me, leave me in my pain and misery, leave me in my own mind. This broken fantasy cannot be trusted and cannot exist. Many a sleepless nights I have spent thinking of this jaded fantasy, tears I wept, cuts I have made. The pyhsical pain is meaningless compared to seeing you lose your joy, losing your hope in your self and what you built without me.... One little smile from him and his eyes bright and innocent are the only thing you still cling to... Deep down in my heart I know the truth, I know what we could have had... I hate what you have created without me, you understand my mind, soul and heart. Why did you want her?For the only reason is what I'm most insecure about, the very reason why your ring isn't on my finger, your insecurity, your pride, and your stupidity... your desire for what you percieved to be better... What you wanted is what I could never be....... Tears that are shed are for what could have been, I have to grieve and accept the cold reality... Broken hearted and alone is where I remain...
