MillieH's Journal

I keep thinking if it is worth it

All the pain and irritation and frustration

Why do I put myself through it?

I could be honest

Just write the words in my status

But that would be admitting it

And asking someone to help

I am alone most of the day

Not avoiding, but neglecting others

Why don’t I want them around?

I could be honest

If someone asked me how I am

But that is not something I know how to

And would leave me vulnerable

I see others smiling and laughing

Having fun and getting to know each other

Why do I keep so many secrets?

I could be honest

If I wanted to

Just tell you all how I really am

But then you might hurt me

I feel the cold wind blowing

I feel the rain pouring

I feel my skin warming in the sun

But your love is still a mystery to me

I could be honest

If I could trust you

If that was even possible

I could be honest

When someone asked if I was okay

But lying is more comforting for both you and me

And leaves me in free