MillieH's Journal

The abyss 

An abyss waiting for me to join it

Creeping closer and closer when I look away

Just waiting for me to stumble and fall

My balance is shaky, a wrong step easy.

Walking on pillars the abyss stretches out around me

Surrounded by emptiness and darkness

Anything might make me fall

A memory or a word

A thought or a sound

Or simply a second

The abyss smiles welcoming as my feet leave the ground

Longing to dull me in its loneliness

To cease all purpose and reason in life

Wanting me to stay with it, to never leave again

A deep abyss within myself

Invisible to everyone else, it can trap me for years

Playing the part of me it fools everyone

While I lay in my private nightmare

Betrayed by all those who love me,

Except for the abyss.

My dear abyss that grants me numbness

My cherished abyss, that keeps my secrets

My hatred abyss that never fully lets go

My feared abyss, that won’t vanish

Falling deeper and deeper into the abyss

I can see my life, a movie of pictures

The torment and suffering of my life

The betrayal and pain from the ones I loved

The abyss’s darkness blocks my vision

Giving me a chance to rest

A slumber I might never wake up from again.