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andibud 
This is the first time I've written anything as a member of the widows/widowers support group but I feel this is a safe place so I guess I can pour it out here and not feel judged.
My husband died 5 years ago and I have focused on my kids, the business my husband and I had owned and my outreach work with my church. I closed my business a couple of years ago now and started back to school in January 2008 for my graduate degree. I really haven't had time to date or seek another relationship but I also think it is because I am afraid.
My oldest son was 13 when my husband died and a big part of me did not want to alienate him by getting in another realtionship with a man. He is 18 now and getting ready to leave for college. I have 2 younger children who are now becoming teens and part of me wants to think about dating BUT I don't even know where to begin. It is so easy being alone but I miss that friendship and love my husband and I shared. I am afraid of rejection and I see so many friends who are going through divorce and I wonder, "Is it worth it?"
Is it worth it to try and love again? If God wants me to have someone won't He give me someone? Shouldn't I just be satisfied with the blessings I have now - a wonderful family, a beautiful home, great friends - do I really need a man in my life? Or am I afraid because I might get hurt?
