Learning to love again
June 16, 2009 9:42am
This is the first time I've written anything as a member of the widows/widowers support group but I feel this is a safe place so I guess I …
andibud
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About Me
andibud
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About Me
Widow for 5 years, 3 wonderful children, Professional Counselor in training at Mercer University, undergrad degree double major in Anthropology/Sociology from College of William and Mary and my passion is to combine my faith in the power and healing of a relationship with Jesus Christ and my skills as a counselor to help people find meaning, wholeness and joy.
Widow for 5 years, 3 wonderful children, Professional Counselor in training at Mercer University, undergrad degree double major in Anthropology/Sociology from College of William and Mary and my passion is to combine my faith in the power and healing of a relationship with Jesus Christ and my skills as a counselor to help people find meaning, wholeness and joy.
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Rainbow
Yes, sometimes I feel that I should relax and trust in the Lord/trust in the higher powers/trust in the Universe to guide me or put me where I need to be. Sometimes I feel that I should assert my will and take a more active role in my life. But I don't always have enough clues to take myself to the right place.
Rainbow
because I know we will both get through this. Thank you so much. It helps knowing I am not alone.
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Hug
Best wishes to you. You sound like you're managing, even if it is tough. BTW....you said "I am abstaining from sex if and when I get remarried." It doesn't really mater to me, but does the word "until" belong in there?
Hug
Wow, what an accomplished and accomplishING woman you are! I send my best regards to you.
Hug
I have been involved with a grief share program through my church as well. I lost my husband almost 18 months ago. I have enjoyed the group and the people in it like you have it a place to connect with others who understand. This site has also been a tremendous support too. Hugs
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Support Groups
Close Widows & Widowers
I am widow for 5 years and I am looking to connect with others as I continue to heal from the loss of my husband
Treatments
- Grief Counseling Working / Worked
- I was a part of a grief group at my church called "GriefShare" for a year and a half after my husband's death. It involved watching a video discussing different aspects of grief each week and than having a group discussion afterward for about an hour or so. It was a 13 week process but I kept going because the people in that group were some of the only people that really understood my pain and how I was feeling many times.
Close Single Parenting
I am widow raising three kids on my own and need support from others going through a similar circumstance.
Open Abstinence & Celibacy
I am abstaining from sex until I remarry.
Open Bereavement
I am a widow
Treatments
- Crying Working / Worked
- YES!!! Helps cleanse the soul
- Grief Counseling Working / Worked
- Griefshare group at church was awesome - needed them and couldn't have journeyed through it without them.
- Helping Others Working / Worked
- It always helps to helps others. You realize that you are not the only hurting person in the world and in fact, you realize that you have many blessings you take for granted.
- Keeping Busy Somewhat Helpful
- Had to keep busy because I had 3 children to raise and a business to run - but not so good. You need time to hurt and heal.
- Music Working / Worked
- It soothes my soul. I have a special connection with music and I played some CD's all the time after my husband died.
- Pets Working / Worked
- My dog was a comforter in amazing ways. When I would weep - he would rest his head of my knees and be there with me. I love that sweet dog so much!
- Prayer Working / Worked
- Always works - changes everything! Gave me strength to go - my own prayers and the prayers of others
- Reading Working / Worked
- So many great grief books and journals!
- Remembering Working / Worked
- Pictures, stories, videos - so great to remember. The kids and I visit the gravesite and bring flowers, balloons, angels, etc.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Couldn't have done it without them - I will always need their support!
- Support Groups Working / Worked
- Again, "GriefShare" group was incredible help to me!
- Talking Working / Worked
- I love to talk and share stories of my husband with the kids and friends
- Time Working / Worked
- Grief takes time - it has been 5 years since my husband died and I still have times when I miss him and think of him but time helps.
Open Caring For Aging Parents
I am helping my sister care for our 83 year old widowed mom.
Open Depression
I have been betrayed and know what it feels like to be depressed
Treatments
- Meditation Working / Worked
- Prayer
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- Focusing on the blessings
- Writing Working / Worked
- It was the way I could pour out my pain
Open Financial Challenges
I am a single widowed mom trying to make ends meet but I have some credit addiction issues
Treatments
- Budgeting Somewhat Helpful
- I am bad at budgeting - i seems something always happens to mess me up!
- Credit Counseling Working / Worked
- I did Crown Ministry through my church - it helped but I still mess up
- Cut Up Credit Cards Working / Worked
- Always helps but then I get new ones
Open Families & Friends Affected By Suicide
I had a good friend kill himself
Open Hypothyroidism
I have an under active thyroid
Treatments
- Synthroid Working / Worked
- Seems to be working
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- Helps me keep positive and keep my weight down
Open Migraine Headaches
I have had migraines since I was 5 years old
Treatments
- Aspirin Not Working
- Bad side effects - stomach aches
- Avoid Certain Foods / Chemicals Working / Worked
- I avoid alcohol
- Caffeine Working / Worked
- Helps but doesn't take the pain away
- Imitrex Working / Worked
- The best med I have found to use so far
- Stress Management Working / Worked
- A big help in all ways
- Sleep Working / Worked
- Plenty of sleep helps keep the headaches away
Open Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
I have had IBS since 1995
Treatments
- Avoid Certain Foods / Chemicals Working / Worked
- I have to try and avoid seedy items such as popcorn, certain breads, etc
- Probiotics Working / Worked
- Seems to help
