Journal

So, I'm excited because my husband has been on a two week shut down from work. That's not really good news, but what is good news it that it gives us more time to BD!! I only see my husband on the weekend because I work 1st shift and he works 2nd, so by the time I get home in the evening, he is already gone to work. I get to see him in the morning when I wake up, but he's usually sleeping or sleep talking or doing something creepy in his sleep LOL.

This month about half of the time he'll be on shut down, we have a fertility window, so I have my fingers and toes crossed this month and am praying that we'll get our chance at a little bundle of joy this month. Wish me luck and I promise I'll keep my fingers crossed for all those TTC as well :)

Have a good day everyone !! *****Baby Dust******

So I'm supposed to find out on Monday if I'm pregnant or not, but at this point I don't even care to find out. I was woken up at 6am yesterday by the hospital in my old town that I used to live in about an hour away from where I currently live. I was told that my Nana (grandma) isn't doing very well and that my family wants us up there as soon as possible. 

Keep in mind that she had existing heart problems and was in the hospital recovering from a  mild heart attack. She was in recovery...they had a plan to get a heart cath done and said she would be good as new.

Well, over night she had a code and they had to do CPR and put her on a ventilator. So by the time I got to the hospital yesterday morning at 6:45am, she was on the ventilator, concious...able to hear us and somewhat respond by a small smile or wiggling her toes a bit. By about 10am, all of our family except 1 grandson had arrived and everyone had a chance to see her, but she was done. She started to lose oxygen and her brain was dying. Her wishes were that if this happened, she be removed from the ventilator and let pass as she did not want to have to live with no quality of life. So yesterday...my very very close personal friend, Nana, passed away. I hate looking at those words, but now this weekend I have to face the viewing and funeral. How can I even think about wanting a baby after something so tragic has happened? I love her always and will miss her more than she will ever know. Thanks for listening.