Journal

Looking for a day without frustration, sadness... moods

Wondering if this will always be.

Moments of empowerment, moments of fear

Tired of trying to explain the ups and downs ... "no not cured yet, no still can't remember, yes, I've heard of that remedy, that cure"

I'm Known to always be upbeat, cheery and always loking for positive,  so who is this new person I am? Is it me or that thing that disguises me?

Have to keep my head high for my 2 kids with lyme... not too hovering but always alert, how to get that balance anyway?

Oh, but the good can come. A day walking on the beach and really seing the beauty, a day watching my son run with his kite, my daughter not holding her head at breakfast.

The good is there, it is. Its worth a peak.. even through the herx, even through the fog, even through the gurgling stomach... its worth a peak until that day comes when the peak turns into a gaze  with love for hear and now.

Thanks to this group for giving me a place when times are brutal or not.. just to be here and understood.

   Okay, so I finally decided to join my fellow Lymies and registered to this support group. I was diagnosed with Lyme almost 3 years ago... gosh has it really been that long? My 2 kids were just diagnosed a month ago. They seem to be managing quite well, far better than myself.

   I  have had the usual lyme ups and downs with two coinfections. For sure...I am getting better, but still have days like today when life feels just too brutal.

   I was relieved to feel the positive energy from this group. I have avoided support groups in fear of only hearing about devistation. I look for hope and strength, laughter during these times that feel relentless, and perspective on my life and how lucky I really am.

   Today, I actually thought of something that only another lyme pal would understand...I was at the grocery store and i felt this odd sensation on my back side.. is it yet another wierd crawly vibratory symptom nagging me? Hmmmm, never had it there before....It seemed to be a rythmic sensation...I'll have to tell my LLMD, I thought.... Then, wait, this is too intense...Ohhhhhh, now hold on here.... my clouded memory cleared long enouph to remember that my Iphone was in my back pocket and on vibrate!!!!!!!