devastated1965

Open Meth Addiction & Recovery

my husband is an addict - cocaine and, likely, meth

Open Breakups & Divorce

my husband is a (failed) recovering alcoholic and as of last 12 months a full blown crack addict refusing to get help. I am taking care of myself and preparing for what I may need to do to get on with my life if he refuses to get help.

Treatments

Couples Counseling Considering

We were supposed to go multiple times and he promised that we would but backed out each time, turning to some new addiction each time to avoid any responsibility. All I asked is that we learn to speak to each other in a more constructive way (I am the outgoing one and he is an extreme passive agressive intravert with (!) no friends except for mine). Now, his addiction has to be handled before anything else. I believe that it would have worked but he literally lacks the tools to do it.

Forgiveness Not Working

Not until he stops destroying everything and everyone around him and gets clean.

Music Working / Worked

Music has been a staple in my life for ever so it makes sense to use it now. I can use it to pick up my mood, get energyzed, relax me or take me to particular events in my life which help me re-group. I listen to virtually every type - except for rap.

Pets Working / Worked

My cat provides unconditional love, irreverent demand for 'our' routine which includes yard work, play time and well cooked meals (he's on a raw food diet). When I want to curl up and ignore everything, he demands that I maintain a routine which keeps me focused on keeping our lives as 'normal' as possible. It works for me.

Psychotherapy Working / Worked

I originally turned to it fo help me work through my father's cancer (in remission now) but it dug up and worked through a lot of other issues. I am handling my current crisis with strength that I know I would not have if it were not for the 9 months with my wonderful psychiatrist (no meds) two years ago. It did, however, make me see and gave me confidents to approach my spouse to get help for our marriage becuase it was (in my eyes) the most loving thing we could do for each other.

Reading Working / Worked

I like to know how others (professionals & those wrestling with the same issues handle their specific situation). Much to learn, allows me to reflect and absorb at my own pace and offers a wealth of advice. I believe that it is working for me for the current purpose of learning as much as I can to know how/where to seek best advice as things change.

Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked

Support from friends is great - just knowing that there are there for me helps enormously.

Support Groups Somewhat Helpful

So far, I've done on-line support groups mostly dealing with addict family support. Still exploring possibilities.

Talking Working / Worked

This dovetails with the therapy in a less formal way. Women & men seem to communicate differently and talking about where my head is as the time goes on forces me to connect my thoughts in a more structured manner, rather than let the thoughts jump around. It seems to alleviate a lot of immediate anxieties and 'declogs' my brain.

Time Too Soon to Tell

The situation which caused me to join this group is changing weekly so yes, time will tell.