sonyahaley's Journal

I'm feeling pretty blah. I'm not sure what the deal is. The girls and I have been spending some time at my mom and dad's house. I wanted the girls to be away from Robin incase she tried something. I'm ususally so excited to be at my parent's house. I just don't want to be right now. I miss home. I miss my husband. I feel like a terrible mother. My parents say that I am way too hard on the girls. of course, they don't think they should ever be punished, though. I don't know. I have been homeschooling them for the past couple of days. My parents got all over me for making them do school work for so long. Yesterday, they didn't get started until like 11:00 PM and they stopped to play outside for like 45 minutes. And, we took several breaks and some snack times. So, it was 4:00 PM and they were finsihing p. Their teachers sent work home with them. Then, today, Sonya decided to pretend she didn't know anything about telling time. She refused to do her work. So, I spanked her. And Haley got spanked because she pushed Sonya and ripped a paper from her hands and yelled at her. Of course, I was wrong in doing that. Then, my mom thought I was being silly because I wouldn't let them have pizza right before bed. I let them have some fruit, though. The pizza before bed would have made Haley sick. My mom tries to be resctful, but I hear her talking ot my dad about me being too strict. Maybe I am. I'm still trying to figure all of this out. Then, my mom decided to ask Sonya fshe wants to live with her instead of me. Of course, my mom was joking, but to a 6 year old who has no idea that having a mom and dad means that you live with them--- it was only more confusing. So now, Sonya is saying she wants to live with my mom and not Tim and I. So, it's frustrating. I have to admit that I am a bit jealous. I was really looking forward to yesterday. I had the day off and I could actually spend an evening with girls-- no plans-- just us playing and having fun. Well, my mom turned me into the bad guy. I dont remember what happened, but whatever rule I set for the girls, my mom did not like. So, she had the girls teasingly telling me to leave and go home and that they didnt want me there. It really hurt my feelings. The girls were attached to my mom and would have nothing to do with me. I just want to go home. So, Tim and I decded that it would be okay to bring them back tomorrow and then send them to school on thursday. My mom is throwing a fit. She said that I told them they would stay the week and I need to let them stay. I dont think Robin is going to try anything and they should be in school if it is not necessary to keep them out. So, she is upset with me bc I am going home tomorrow. Im stressedand depressed. Plus, I am still dealing with Frances who has been calling my mom's house several times a day. I just want a  break. I am so disatisfied with everything right now. I mena, not the girls. I love them dearly! I want to be with them all the time. It frustrates me so much that I have to work evenings and cant be with them all the time. And there is so much I want to do as a wife and mother that I cannot do while I am here at work at the job. I want to teach, but I cant find a job in my town. I can sub. bc I need a year round income. I dont like the town we live in.

I am so complainy today. blah.