sonyahaley's Journal

We have a court hearing on Monday to give Tim and I temporary custody. The lawyer said that it is an in and out kind of deal. She said that she will present the case andthe judge will sign the paperwork. Frances is a bit upset as she thought that the judge was going to choose between she and I-- the better fit to raise the girls. She says she is okay with everything, though. Robin will not be there on Monday. She is still in jail and there has not been a motion to transfer. If she is there, the judge would ask her if she is going back to jail and she would say yes and then the girls would be ours anyway. I told the lawyer about the continued letters and cards from Robin. She tells the girls she is going to come and get them, that she is not sick anymore, that she has a house and a job, she is attending church, etc. Our lawyer said that the letters are not evidence and that there are two steps to the process for Robin. First, Robin has to prove that she is fit to be a mother-- BPD under control, stable income, a home, no drugs, etc. This takes a lengthy amount of time. Second, Robin has to prove that there is something wrong with the girls' current living arrangement with us. She has to prove that we are not fit to care for the girls and that they would be better off with her. She has to prove that living with her would not be detrimental to the girls' health-- mentally and physically. The lawyer said that Robin cannot do any of these things. She seems confident that we will get the girls.

Haley really opened up to our preacher's wife the other day. Their family and ours has become really close. We are about the same ages and our children are the same ages. We are all very close. It has been an incredible blessing to all of us. Anyway, she was watching the girls the other evening and Haley opened up to her. She was crying frantically and asked why Robin does not love her. Rebecca, the preacher's wife, asked why she doesnt talk to me. She said that she doesn't want me to cry becasue she is crying and she doesnt want me to be scared because she is scared. She has never seen me cry and I have never expressed fear to her. I want her to be able to talk with me. I am happy that she opened up. Haley has never talked about her feelings with anyone. So, it is good. I don't want her to be hurt or scared. She is in bed with us every night, holding tight to my neck. She is terrified of everything.

Sonya has gotten better with the manipulaiton, but continues to lie. She recognizes it, though and says she is sorry. So, we are progressing. Frances has been telling the girls that, on mOnday, the judge will decide if they stay with her or go with Tim and I. So, when I explained what would really happen, Haley was exstatic. Sonya whined that she wants to live with her grandma. I askedher whyand she said she doesn't know. I encouragedher to talk to me about it, but she just said she doesnt know why. I asked if it is becaus eshe is afraid she wont see grandma again. This is what the problem was before. She said yes and I assured her thats he would still see grandma. We do intent to keeo that relationship in tact. She was still very sad. I told her that I am sorry she is upset, but that it has already been decided that she will live with Dad and I and that we would talk about it and figure something out. I need her to know that this is the way it will be bc I dont want Frances to have her thinking that she can still live with her. She can't. I hate that she doesnt want to live with us. It hurts my feelings. I dont completely understand it. Im sure this is why she has been acting out so much. She is desperate for attention. I always worry that I shw one more attention that the other. I dont know though. I talked to the counselor about it, but she did not give any response. She just took note.

So, please keep praying. Thanks!