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  rogerledwards (11/15/09)

  Thanks for your reply. Congrats on 23 years.
  
  Roger the Minisiter
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  asadheart (11/10/09)

  Any piks to share,sis? Would create a much "warmer" profile.
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  asadheart (11/09/09)

  Were you close to jack? Mom was my best friend! She passed away from lung cancer in Feb. I miss her more and more every day....
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  asadheart (11/08/09)

  I'm so sorry you lost your brother. My mom,best friend, passed away from lung cancer recently. Hoping to find comfort here & give/receive support~GOD BLESS
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  lgdennen (11/06/09)

  Hey there--Thanks for your comments, I keep thinking once I get my pain kicked out of the way, then I can really foucs on what I had planned on since Dad passed--American Cancer Society and political actions as to why funding for Lung Cancer is the lowest funded cancer out there, and it is the #! cancer of both men and women. I know there are some incorrectly stigmas to Lung Cancer--I was shocked at how many people commented on my Dad's smoking--yes, he did smoke, but he was also exposed to Agent Orange in Vietnam which helped it along--but more then that: NO ONE SHOULD EVER HAVE TO SUFFER FROM CANCER IN THIS COUNTRY WHERE HAVE THE BEST DOCTORS, THE BEST RESEARCHES, AND THE BEST SCIENTISTS ALL READY TO GO, B/C AT THIS POINT DOESN'T EVERYONE KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS HAD CANCER? SOME WHO MADE IT, THANK GOODNESS, BUT SO MANY OTHERS LOST--it is absolutely shocking and unbelievable--so many of these people could have been spared, possibly. Don't get me wrong--I am a firm believer that when it is your time to go, it is your time--but in today's world with our technology, no one should loose a battle against any disease that we have plenty of funds to figure out the battle plans. There are just lots and lots of things I have come across, and AMC has tried their best and still do, but they cannot do it alone. More then anything, information just needs to get out there that we are all at risk for some type of cancer in our lives due to the everyday regular world we live in, and we have doctors and scientists and genectisits who have stated they know they can find cures/treatments to halt the diseases, if they only had the funds. And from my understanding from AMC, we do have funds that are tied up in paperwork and red tape?? At this point, so many of us have been affected by cancer in one way or another, so in my thoughts--I am thinking we sort have an emergency on our hands that is being treated like a toothache. I will get off of my soapbox now...LOL--my pain is still gone!! I have four more days before my next treatment, I am taking this doctor a box of candy--the least of what she deserves, the woman is a genius. How are you coming along? Grieving is such a horrible feeling to deal with: once you have to deal with it, I think most of us would rather be hit with a baseball bat a few times whether then to feel such an intense and painful emotion. What I keep saying over and over in my mind--is this saying that I found in a grief book shortly after Dad passed--and it said something to the affect "Wouldn't you have still choosen to know/love this person, and have had them in your life, if you were told at your birth or their birth that on)e would be gone at a way too young age:. (my Dad was 58)--and my thought was absolutely--another man in the world could not have been my father as well as mine was--he was the best of the best, and the pain is worth the time and laughter and love that I received from him all my life". I know you lost your brother, but I think this saying just really makes people stop and think about the person lost and how blessed we were, and honored we were, to have had them in our lives. I hope you doing ok, I was glad to hear your response, and I was wondering about you the other day when I was counseling several siblings over the loss of another, so very very hard to go through, it has been over three years at this point for me, and I still have many issues to work on so I can remember the good times and "life" before cancer, so to speak. I'd love to hear back from you, and see how you are doing??? Take care.
  
  Lisa
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  lgdennen (10/26/09)

  Try not to overdo it, ok? I know the tendecny is so great to just go go and go.....it is just crazy and I sure do know what it feels like. Try to stop and smell the roses if you can..I know that ole stupid cliche--It is so hard, well it has been three years since my Dad passes and I have been to his grave twice. It is funny, there are some thing that some of us just cannot do...my Mom cannot listen to coutry music and I can't even drive by Rose Hill Cemetary, let alone drive into it. Not sure about my siblings, but my gut instincts tell me there are a few issues with them too. Guess it is just how we deal. Hand in there though, talk to me should you need a friend.--Lisa
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  Amanda1976 (09/18/09)

  I'm doing ok today. Yesterday was rough...had more issues with my sister and she in return getting my mom involved and getting her upset. I requested a "family meeting" last night and my sister refused because a soccer game was more important...no joke. I guess we plan to all talk Saturday when she is off work and I have just talked to the Hospice Social Worker to see if there are any resources they can provide. Right now, my mom's caregivers are: sister and her boyfriend sometimes that are living with my mom, me, my fiance, my gma sometimes and my aunt has been over a couple of times. My mom does have friends from work that I'm sure with notice we can ask for their help and Hospice does have volunteers that can come over, but i'm not sure how comfortable she will be with that. Somedays I feel that I should just suck of my feelings of negativity towards my sister and then other days I wonder why I should give in? Why should I censor my feelings? I guess there are pros/cons to either way I think. Only sad thing is I feel that everytime I make things better with her it lasts only so long and things go back to what they were before. A never ending circle.
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  Amanda1976 (09/17/09)

  Thank you very much for your thoughts. It has been rough...and continues to be rough. It really sucks that these things bring out the best and worst in people. I'm having a hard time with my younger sister right now. She has been in denial since my mom was diagnosed and continues to still be more concerned about her own well being. She lives with my mom. She has depended on my mom for the almost 25 years that she has been alive and now is "freaked out" because she doesn't know how/where she is going to live when my mom is gone because my mom has always taken care of her. I try to tell her that it is time to "grow up" but I feel that it goes in one ear and out the other. There is SO MUCH more to tell...I think I could go on forever. I think my mom wishes that we would possibly get along for her sake but I feel sometimes I cannot "love" someone that I blame/resent so much.
  
  ~amanda
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  Ray of Sunshine
  

  vsal (09/14/09)

  Always remeber that tomorrow is a day to start fresh. Whenever I have a bad day or become sad, I always remember that tomorrow is a new day... a chance for change, betterment, hope, new things. I always know that the sun will come out tomorrow and shine on a brand new day... I know how tough it is what you're reminded of the person you lost by a photo or fond memory... but always try to remember the good things and the fact that they are now in a much better place=]
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  Prayer
  

  vsal (09/14/09)

  Thank you Jackssister...
  I'm so sorry for your loss as well. I have a little brother and couldnt imagine a day without him I adore him with all my heart and I imagine that you felt the same way for your brother... My grandfather passed last December; he was diagnosed in September, so it was the longest 3 months of my life=[ he was the only grandfather I had and I was devastated...
  
  My prayers go out to you and your family in this tough time... grievance and rememberance are always important...
  
  god bless

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