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redgirl1 
hi my name is redgirl1.
i am from england this is the first forum on anything i have ever joined in my life! but i am happy i already have a good feeling about this. i do not want to bore you all with a long story about me. i am a recovered anorexic which is a joke really because all i have done is changed from not eating to over eating. when i am stressed worried anything i just get an overwhelming urge to eat...i cannot control it i feel ashamed sick horrible i think oh well i have eaten this so i might as well continue i just wont eat tommorow! i am only happy when i am not eating because i look and feel better but after 5 days max i binge eat and am back to square one. i am depressed, unconfident and embarrased i am quite young mid/late teens and am driving my family mad with it. i have lost many friend s and really f****ed up my school life. as a result of the anorexia everyone thought i was crazy. now the overeating with my depression about the way i look and feel i am nasty to people. i have destroyed so many relationships i know i should eat normal meals i know what i should be doing i am sure everyone here knows but i just cant. i am a high achiever perfectionist and this is probably why i am finding it difficult to recover i care so much about peoples opinions of me. i just need support i have binged on 11 chocolate bars today sandwichs a huge dinner everything not just that i also cannot afford to buy all the junk food! please i need help from people who understand i want to give my family and my body a break. i am not overweight but definately a bit heavy not what i feel is my natural weight my older brother is 6 inches taller and nearly the same weight he has even told me i need to lose weight which worries me as he only says things that he honestly really means please help me to start recovery please ps sorry this is soo long and rambling!
Comments
I can relate to you, believe me. I'm so sad that your teenage years are being eaten up by the nasty hell of having eating disorders, as was mine too.
Do you ever throw up after a binge, or do you just restrict for awhile? I know that if you were anorexic before becoming a binge-eater, it feels SO bad to feel this loss of control over the food, right?
I really understand you but not sure I can really "help" you because I'm battling the same kind of stuff myself, but I can offer you some support & friendship, and the genuine understanding of your plight.
You should consider joining the Food Addicts community here too. Also, maybe seek out some help where you live. You didn't say if you were in treatment before, but I think you ought to be for sure. XoOXx
PS: Welcome to DS!
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