sinann's Journal

 i have come here to get support for my shopping addiction and my depression, and to get some help and try to make myself feel better, i need to just let it all out... i have been a mess the last few days adn i think i had my first exprience in a nervous breakdown... not a full one but i think it came close, my money problems have come to the surface for the first time in 10 yrs... and my partner who has been with me for that time has bailed me out of money issues since we got together, his one dream in life was to have a family home for a child/children to grow up in, but in the last tens years i have managed to spend excessively and the deposit of a dream home has been paid onto my creditcards... the things he said to me were very hurtful , like a thousand of ants eating and nipping at every part of me... but true.... i cannot face any one at the moment, i cannot get on facebook... the thought of how much i have hurt him tears me to pieces, for the first time in 10 years i feel the fear of him leaving... i don't want to acknowledge it... but he could i fear when he comes home from work that he will come in and say... it's over get out i don't love you anymore... i feel so repulsive.