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Countrygrandma 
7:47am, October 31, 2009
Every night it is the same old story. I smoke my "last' ciggerett. I am going to quit. I tell my self all the reasons that I need to quit. I have a heart problem, I have COPD, I have a loving family that wants to keep me around, I do not want to die. Morning rolls around and I can go about 4 or 5 hours after waking up until the panic sets in. I cry, I get angry, I feel sorry for my self, I tell myself all I need is one more day. I light up and here we go again.
I have tried the new stop smoking pill and I have tried antidepressants. All of them just make me terribly sick after about the 4th day of being medicated . I get so sick with nausea that I can't even lift my head up from my pillow so I stop taking them. My husband and my children tell me daily about what they think about my smoking and yet I still csn not quit.
I pray daily for the strength to quit and yet I still light up.
I wish there was a rehab clinic for smoking. I would check myself in. I believe that for some of us being addicted to smoking is about as bad as being addicted to street drugs.
I know that if I keep on smoking that it will kill me and yet I still light up.
I feel like such a failure . I let myself down along with my family every time I light up and yet I still cannot quit.
Is there any hope for me?
I have tried the new stop smoking pill and I have tried antidepressants. All of them just make me terribly sick after about the 4th day of being medicated . I get so sick with nausea that I can't even lift my head up from my pillow so I stop taking them. My husband and my children tell me daily about what they think about my smoking and yet I still csn not quit.
I pray daily for the strength to quit and yet I still light up.
I wish there was a rehab clinic for smoking. I would check myself in. I believe that for some of us being addicted to smoking is about as bad as being addicted to street drugs.
I know that if I keep on smoking that it will kill me and yet I still light up.
I feel like such a failure . I let myself down along with my family every time I light up and yet I still cannot quit.
Is there any hope for me?
