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cake12310 
12:24am Thursday
ONE MONTH.
not pull 'free'. but not pulling on my head. for exactly one month. i want to cry.
at one point i thought, no way. i can probably never stop. thats it. im gunna lose all my hair. im going to be bald, or at the least, have realllly thin hair. after growing up with thick, beautiful hair, i couldnt bare the thought. however, thinking about what would have happened added more and more anxiety= more pulling. vicious cycle.
All i needed was a push. a shot of inspiration. thanks to a dear friend, who became pull free, i started too. it was getting out of hand. i would pick up piles of hair after a bad pulling spree. now im getting all teary. at one point, my therapist told me to count how many hairs i pulled out in one day. over 100. i cant even think of how bad it would have been by now. one month. 4 weeks. 30 days. 3000 hairs.
im crying now. sadly. not because im happy about being pull free. but im thinking about all the time i wasted. all the hair i wasted. i pulled for way more than one month. more than half my hair?
its soo thin. so thin compared to what it was, two year to grow it all back?
i cant believe i did that to myself. how could i do that?
how could i let it go so far as having to collect piles and PILES of hair each day?
too far.
too far.
someone. please help me get through this.
the only comfport i get is not pulling anymore. thats it. why should my comfort be that IM NOT BALD?
WHY IS THAT A COMFORT?
NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT. THAT SHOULD NOT BE A COMFORT TO SOMEONE.
IT SHOULDNT.
SUPPORT. HELP. PLEASE.
i cant cry over this now. its over. im done. iv stopped pulling. but i could have stopped at the begining. i could have kept all my hair. i could have. but i let it go as far as half my hair. maybe more. i cant cry over spiled milk.
but i am.
UPDATED GOALS
PF FOR A MONTH
Progress 100%
Encouragements: 1
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Comments
Hi, my name is Leanne..Firstly I would like to thank you very much for the comment you took time to write in Group, regarding telling my husband, it is very sound advice ( are you sure u r only 17?lol) I wish I could only return the good deed in replying to this journal entry. I do not know the right thing s to say...and they may come out clich'. Please just know i am here, even if someone just to listen. I admire your strength in not pulling, I have never even gone 1 day(or not wanting to) for as long as one day. I never have pulled on my head much, but a few weeks ago my husband pointed out I had a silver size permanent bald spot, could be years old, to be perfectly hones i do not even remember pulling there at all. Sorry got off track. Thanx again friend for being here.
spiiike
I understand how you feel somewhat... I'm a tid bit confused though :l If you could explain to me a little better through a message i might be able to help :)
Text me too :3
InvaderMakz
ohh my gosh Y R A CHAMP!!!!!!
girl you are my inspritation!! keep up the amazing work, im soo excited for you, next time we chat its gonna be about you, i need to here your story!
jodi12