Journal

I'm feeling sad today.  I am very overweight, am extremely sensitive about my body image, am a complete emotional eater and am just sad that I am not able to overcome emotional eating.  My Mom passed away almost 2 years ago.  My Dad passed away 13 years ago.  I'm stuck in a funk of feeling very alone.  My Mom suffered for a year after a series of debilitating strokes, and I visited her every day which I feel blessed to have done.  But watching her suffer and then pass, took a very deep toll on my mental and emotional well being, that I just can't seem to bounce back from.  Typing this now brings me to tears.  I really miss my folks. I ate my way through the stress and grief of losing my Mom in the last couple of years, and gained 100lbs in the process.  Now I am in the place of needing to lose the weight in order to live a healthier, less physically and emotionally painful life.  I go through weeks of eating right and exercising, then something inside my brain clicks off, and I immediately go back to overeating to comfort and calm myself.  I feel very angry with myself for not having the willpower to over come the need to eat.  I want to find other ways to comfort myself, but don't know where to start.  I found this support group and hope to find others who may understand what I am going through.  People who don't or haven't lived a life of being overweight due to emotional eating think you can just stop eating....I wish it were that easy for me.

If anyone out there has some words of encouragement or suggestions of where to start, I would be very appreciative.  Feeling alone in this process is hard and am just looking for some friends to help support me, that I can support in return.

I feel like I'm whining....am sorry if you feel I am too....but thanks for listening.