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frustratedbutcurious 
4:58am, November 16, 2009
After my internal alarm clock went off, I spent a week half-expecting to hear from my ex. I got nervous every time I opened my email or logged into Facebook. However by the end of the week I'd managed to convince myself that this is it - we're not going to speak again because he's been back for a week and hasn't been in touch. And it really helped me start to move on. It was a painful few days, and I had a good cry and on Saturday I formally put the past behind me.
Then last night he posted to Facebook to say that he's back from his three week trip, and is wondering what the hell "everyone" is babbling on about. Shit. Now I'm anxious all over again about whether or not he's going to get in touch.
While he was away I gradually removed him from my FB page. I deleted pictures of us together and put my status on my front page as "single". I looked at his profile and noticed that deleting the pics from mine had also deleted them from his. I wondered briefly if he'd feel a pang when he found out.
Well, he didn't seem to. All he's done is post another 7 pics and hidden them from me. And I feel like shit. It seems that right now, knowing what he is up to is doing me more harm than it is good.
I can't wait until he goes to California. Then I can delete his ass and move on.
Comments
I don't know what all is going on w/you and your spouse...but you sound like you are kinda going thru what i am.
My hubby and I are still married. We dated a yr or yr & 1/2 and then got pregnant w/our daughter. We married two weeks before she was born. We both brought 3 other children from previous marriages (totally 7 kids). We LOVED each other and still do more than we have ever loved anyone (even after 12 and 15 yr marriages), but we married against everyones disagreements and were so in love, however it did not last. We fought all the time, jealousy was out of control, kids were not in sync, house rules..not together...and on our 1yr anniversary...we fought, I said leave (we were at the lake)...he left, took his 3 kids, came home, packed his stuff and left. That was 1yr ago on July 13th. I was devastated. I didnt mean to really leave my life...just leave right then, ya know.
In this past year, we have tried to fix it. We both just cant move on... We would call and text almost daily. It would start w/him asking about our daughter (she's 2) and then it would escalate into more of a conversation about us or who we see or what we do, just to get a feel if one or the other is seeing someone yet....I MUST SAY...NO I'M NOT! But anyway, long story short. He gave me an ultimatum. He said come July 13th (couple weeks ago), I needed to decide if we were gonna be or not be. If i didnt give him an answer, he's done. (I've heard that before, but it never happened)...but this time was different. I didnt give him an answer, cuz how can you when you still dont get along and he wants to change everything about you? So the next day...he never called, never texted...nothing. As the last 2wks have gone on, I rarely hear from him unless he's visiting w/our daughter. I am sooooo bothered that he is moving on. He lives w/his parents right now, and they left town for two weeks so he's alone. He hasn't called once and when he did get our daughter on Saturday, he said he was having a party/bbq. I think it was a date. I have been crying a bit more, but realize, I just need to move on too. I'm not looking for another man but if it happens to fall in my lap, I guess I'm ready.
Sorry for writing a book on your Journal post. Guess I should get all this out on my own page ?huh?
Rachel3317
That's OK - I'm glad it helped you share some of your own stuff, and it's kinda reassuring to know that people read what I write here and hear it. I've been staying off the main discussion board lately because I feel like I need to focus on the rest of my life in order to move on, but I still need to journal here and it helps to know someone is listening. :)
frustratedbutcurious