feeling kind of sick today. I might …
feeling kind of sick today. I might make an appoiment to my dr to see if i am having a baby o not. I feel movement and …
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Jessyca21 
9:41pm Friday
After all of this, almost a year, Josh has decided he's not happy with me.
He's 'content' but not happy. The only reason he's stayed as long as he has is because
he wanted to be good Dad. So we've decided to call it quits. It hurts soo bad, but I figured it was just a matter of time. When we got together he was used to going out and partying and getting drunk every weekend and I grew out of that a LOOOOONG time ago. I would rather just sit at the house and go out occasionally with friends instead of every weekend. This pregnancy wasn't planned at all, it happened when we had been together for like 3 months. But i think everything happens for a reason, so i have no regrets about it. I just wish he would have told me sooner, because i feel like all we've done is waste time. I knew from the begining he wasn't thrilled and he was scared, but so was I. And as time passed he acted like this was more of a burden than anything else, he kept saying "I can't wait until your not pregnant anymore" and he never once asked to feel the baby kick. I'm sorry this was such an inconvience for him, but it sure as crap hasnt been a picnic for me either, this is all new to me and I've never been more scared in my life. And I know I broke down a couple of times and cried because I was so terrified, and maybe i was a little bit hormonal but I couldn't help it. With my anxiety and all this has been a little bit hard on me. I don't know what to do, I feel really alone. But i'm hoping with the support from my family I can do this by myself. I would never try and keep the baby away from him, I'm not that type of person. I just wish he would have been adult enough to tell me about this sooner rather that this far a long. He says he feels trapped and he isnt ready to settle down. Well I'm sorry he feels that way. But sometimes you just have to put your grown up pants on and step up to the plate.
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Awww! =[ I know how you feel. Sean pulls the same thing with me. =[ Don't worry and keep your head up!
tarachellex3
I'm sorry to hear that! But you have to do what is right for you and your son. You have support from your family and all of us here on DS. If you want to chat you can message me, I'm always available, seriously, I live online.
debbiecinkan
Sorry to hear about this. But, you will get through it with or without him. Be glad you have your family to help you, they, along with your friends, will get you through the rough times. That's good that you are not the type of person to keep the baby away from the father. If he decides he wants to be a part of it, that's great.
Hang in there. Omg, you are so close to the end!!! I know you can't wait to meet your little guy!
1weekatatime
I'm so sorry to hear this but it sounds like you put your grown-up pants on a long time ago and you can do this! He will grow up and appreciate you more than you will ever know. Hang in there and teach him how to be a man!
KandJ
Hi Jessyca, so sorry to hear that. But I guess you probably sort of suspected it all along. IMO, the only thing you can do to maybe get him to realize what a great gal you are is to kick him to the curb. I know it hurts like hell, but maybe, if you throw him out, literally, it can jerk himback to his senses...the fear of losing you, forever. You do not want or deserve a man who is half in and out, just "settling" for you. You deserve someone who will love you with all his heart, who will realize and appreciate just really how special you are. Someone who will be so crazily in love with you, that he will really believe that he cannot LIVE without you. He will make you his queen. He will somuch want to have yo all to himself, andbe so afraid to have to share you with anyone, that this someone will want to marry you, to make you his, and his alone.
So, it goes both ways. If he is just "settling" for the heck of it, on account of baby,then you should not be one to want that either. Youwant to know that he loves you more than anything in the world.
The only way to achieve this, iMO, is to get yourself that book called The Rules. It is dirt cheap, a few bucks, and worth every peeny. You have to start being a "rules girl"..memorize everything. Play hard to get. Be elusive. Take good care of yourself. Rarely answer his calls. IF he wants to see you, he has to plan many days ahead, because you have a busy schedule. You let him be the man and pay your way if you go out on a date. And yo have to be a bit old-fashioned...do not agree to co-habitate with a man! Not Josh, not soemone else! Sure, it will belonely, for a bit longer that way, but that is the only way that you will gain that man long-term....He will want to be with you, and the only way to do that, will be to marry you. After all the hard work he will have put into courting you, he will really appreciate and treasure you even more.
I knowit sounds a bit weird, old-fashioned. I also used to be very "we are all equals let me be liberal; let me buy the guy a drink....After reading this little book a few times, I realised that each and every time I chased a guy, was interested in a guy, that it would scare him off.
On the other hand, the guys that I ignored (think of all the nerds that you would not be caught dea with..the ones that pursued you down the hallls, etc.) would chase me. What was wrong? Well, what was wrong is that guys need a challenge. They need to feel like they are the hunter, and only then after they give a long, hard chase, will they be happy and appreciate their "trophy"....you!
SO, it is really your call. I think your mom, aunt, and dad, are like 200% supportive, which is fantastic. He does not even need to be there for the birth, if you do not feel comfortable about his presence. Definitely, forget the MIL!
I wold seriously consider doing a real "break-up" NOW. It might jsut jolt him back to reality. And if he does come scurrying around, wanting you back, he has to EARN YOU. He has to deserve you. He has to work to get you.You should not just go back to living together...that way, he has all the perks (sex, companionship, cooking, cleaning), and none of the committment (marriage).
Please think seriously about what I am saying.
I wish you all the best regardless of what happens. And remember the saying, if you love someone, set him free; if he does not come back to you, it was never meant to be. Sure, it may hurt as hell, but right now, you hae your little baby to worry about, and should not fret about Josh....not one bit. He made his bed; let him lie in it.
Franny7