Jessyca21's Journal

Today I'm 33 weeks and I am sooo excited.

Well, more like 75% excited 25% scared. But that varies from day to day.

Depending on how much time i spend dwelling on labor and all the things that can go wrong.

I am such a worry wart.

I have a doctors appointment thursday,

Which i am sooo not looking forward too. But at least they've changed it from two times a week to once a week. Even though I'm only supposed to be going once every TWO weeks. And its all my fault because I'm the only person in the entire world whos afraid of a blood pressure cuff. Its so weird. Its like I'm scared its going to be high, so it goes up. But when I try and explain it to the nurses they say "Oh well being nervous doesnt bring up your blood pressure" ahem what? I've suffered from anxiety almost all my life and have even had a anxiety attack in the doctors office, they took my blood pressure and surprise surprise it was high. Ugh I just get so aggravated with all them people. It's like I'm talking to a brick wall, I know my body, and i know when my blood pressure goes up because my cheeks flush and it only happens when I get nervous or scared but I guess I'm the only person in the world its ever happened to. I think my doctor is finally starting to listen to me though, because at my last appointment with him, instead of the NP, I explained to him what was going on, and he had me roll on me left side and he checked my BP again and it was 124/70 perfect (=

ANYHOO other than that. Everything has been going really good.

Pregnancy has been nothing like I expected. I was terrified when this first started because

of my panic attacks and paranoia, but everything has been going really smoothly so far. I'm sleeping pretty good at night, except for getting up to goto the bathroom like twice during the night. I've only been sleepless like twice and that was because my mind was racing and I was having a really stressful day. I'm gaining weight, but not too terribly much. My back isnt hurting THANK GOD. The only pain I really have is when i lay on my side too long my hip starts to ache, then i switch sides and I'm good.  Oh and the pelvic pressure every once in a while but nothing i cant handle.

As for my fear of the whole "Not being able to breath when the baby gets larger" yeah thats a thing of the past, thank goodness. I've had no trouble breathing what so ever, and I still slouch (not good I know). It's probably because I'm so tall, and i'm carrying pretty low.

But I guess thats it for now (=