sms43's Journal

Today was my scheduled day for chemo.  Based upon my last CT Scan, the tumors are not responding.  The liver tumor is still the same size, and there are 2 additional tumors in the liver.  This is very disappointing news.  Dr. Nse told me many times this morning how disappointed he was and how he had hoped that it had reduced the size of the tumors.  He wants to stop the chemo I was taking.  He will not continue to give me something that toxic if there is no evidence it is working.  He will start me on a chemotherapy pill, Tarceva.  It is taken at home once daily.  An almost certain side effect is a facial rash; he's so certain I'll have it that he prescribed an ointment for it today.  There are other side effects, the most common of which is diarrhea.  Nausea is possible, and, while I'm not to take premeds for nausea, I have a wide variety of anti emetics if I should experience it.  Hair loss, while not common with this drug, is a possibility.

My last blood count showed low hemoglobin (anemia) and that's thought to be the cause of my shortness of breath (along with the removal of one lobe of my right lung last December).  I got a shot today for that, and I'll get one every 3 weeks while taking Tarceva.  Said the shot should help me to feel better by increasing my red blood cells, but it would take a couple of weeks for me to see any improvement.  If my count had been just a little lower, he would have had me have a blood transfusion.  

Dr. Nse plans to have me on Tarceva for two months, barring any severe side effects, and then reevaluate with a scan.  He did say that there are other chemo possibilities should we not get a good result with Tarceva, but that some individuals do get a rather dramatic positive response with it.

I am not feeling bad.  My SOB comes with any exertion, so I do have to be careful when I stand up or walk anywhere.  The SOB causes me to become lightheaded, and I have to ensure that there's a place to sit down should I need to do so in a hurry.  But I'm sleeping well, I don't nap in the daytime, and I'm generally feeling pretty well.  My appetite isn't great, and the Tarceva might make that worse, but I do try to eat because I know it is vital to maintaining strength.  I just wanted you to know that I'm not sick in bed, unable to go out, or anything that drastic.  That day may come, but I'm not ready for it yet.

Of course, I am disappointed.  I could crash, I guess.  But I do have confidence that Dr. Nse is on top of this and that if there is a treatment that will positively affect my cancer, he will find it.  I think he is completely capable of managing my illness with the latest and most effective treatments out there.  That gives me great confidence, not necessarily that there will be a positive outcome, but that if one is possible, I am in capable hands.  What a great blessing that is!!  I feel such positive energy when I'm at the clinic, and a sense that everyone there is committed to healing for all patients.

So I could crash and burn (an Army phrase, the meaning of which is probably obvious), or not.  I will have moments of profound sadness over this, and then I'll get better.  I have cried lots today, and no doubt the tears will flow quite often, but I must go on.  I have no choice really, but to keep trying whatever my doctor advocates for me.  And I will.  With your help and support.  

Share your thoughts and experiences about Tarceva???