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Mrsnice 
2:49am, June 6, 2009
Today I got the first replies to my post and it has been so emotional! I have had so many times when I feel that my pain is greater than anyone's and tha no one knows what I'm feeling. As I'm typing here my heart feels overwhelmed with so many emotions...thankful because I found this wonderful space where I can share all this mess and start cleaning up my life! I'm sad because we have to meet this way and anxious to experience peace and happiness again.
Thank u so very much for your support, this site is truly a blessing.
I'm scared because he's on his way to pick see the kids and today is exactly a week that he left. This is the third time he comes after he left...I have asked him not to come so often because it hurts to see him; but now that he's out he decides that he needs to see the kids often while during the time he was here he would not get home after work until 4:00AM and did not even see them during the weekend because he was too busy with his whore!
I'm pissed, and I hate getting anxious because of him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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This last two days I have been doing good, I haven't cry. I can't help it but I continue to check the phone bill to kind of know what he's doing...apparently, he's not with her...because there are still so many phone calls early in the morning or at night. If he was with her he wouldn't be calling her right? She'll be right next to him. I think he's getting a taste of his own medicine and just to know that keeps me going. At the same time I feel bad when I see the bank notices come in the mail where he's bouncing funds left and right. He's broke and I wonder how is he managing but at the same time...he deserves it, when I used to save anything I could by cooking, not going out, not doing my hair or nails, he used that money to pay the freaking phone bill that he made because of tha whore.
Mrsnice