Niffer64's Journal

First I want to thank Truthseeker...a wonderful friend who's support always makes me smile inside and out:)

Yesterday I promised myself that if I formally decided not to exercise, that today I would get back with it, no buts about it. Well I awoke just before 8am, immediately remembered that commitment and groaned audibly...I don't wanna! Waaaahhhh!! Well, I went to the gast station for cigs, and noticed, hey the knee feels considerably better today. Got home, talked on the phone, drank some java and smoked some cigs, and thought about that promise to myself. I keep a notebook and pen on my kitchen table. I picked up the pen and wrote out that I WAS in fact going to keep that promise, and wrote a very simple schedule to follow. Okay, folks, I put down the pen and looked at the clock...about 9:50 by then. I headed out the door...instead of my little trip around the building, I went to the street...made it all the way around the block (crying, limping and whining a bit, lol), which took exactly 15'. The little walk takes just under 2'. Came in, rested a few minutes, did all the leg lifts, and increased the reps a little, got out the new aerobic step I'd bought Friday, used that...PHEW! All that with necessary rest periods took nearly an hour. Boy was I sweating. So I washed up (will be SO glad when the staples come out and I can take a real shower again), dressed in one of my nicer outfits, had a nice chat with one of my girls.

I forgot to say that shortly after getting up I did eat my usual breakfast. Well, after all the above, I went ahead and had lunch...tomato soup, apple with peanut butter, and soy milk to drink.

Now I'm just feeling pretty positive, looking forward to my dr's appointment at 2, when surely he'll pull the staples, no more stupid bandage.

A word on the last post, about Mike and the chips...I've really run the gamut of feelings about this issue (significant others either deliberately or unintentionally sabotaging efforts to regain good health). I've seen it discussed on talk shows. On the one hand, of course Mike has never held a gun to my head and forced me to eat the crap. I eat it. That's on me. Like I said, he has the right to eat what he wants in his own home. But Truth put it well in a comment, if I were addicted to Vicodin, would ANYONE think it's okay if he had some and conveniently placed the bottle--not on the end table where HE sits--but right there in reach where he knows darned well I'll see them, be able to reach them, be tempted? What on earth is the man thinking???

Simply, knowing what a decent person Mike is, that's precisely the point: He DOESN'T think. He doesn't do much to take care of himself...is over 50, I've been trying to get him to have a physical for some time now. He refuses, says he feels fine, he'll wait until he has a heart attack and then deal with this stuff. That's his choice, I'm not thrilled about it but considering the shape I'm in, I really can't say too much about it. But I'm thinking, it IS perfectly reasonable for me to ask him not to have certain things around the house. With him, it's chips & dip, and Oreo double-stuffed cookies. Most anything else he likes, like icecream, I can pass right by without giving it a thought. So now I just have to decide if I should ask him before it happens again, or just wait until it does happen again. It won't be pleasant, because while he does eat more than he should of unhealthy foods, he at 52 is maybe 40 pounds overweight and doesn't binge. His eyes glaze over whenever I try to explain what this is about, what 'trigger foods' are for me. He says, "Just don't eat it!" Like, oh hey, yah, never thought of that...silly me, problem solved:)

Well, my son is home from his holiday weekend...he just walked in the door. I have 25 minutes and then am headed for the dr.