Journal

I want to hurl myself off a building

Or run screaming naked through the streets

But here I sit too scared

To attempt any dramatic feats

You said it didn’t matter

Then you rolled your eyes and laughed

Just how am I supposed to feel?

Content that you even asked?

Another night I sit

Listening to the traffic passing by

Next time that you ask

I guess I’ll have to lie

What do we do now?

How can we possibly go on?

You want to hear a new story

But I’m still singing the same old song

Crap!! i can't find my box cutter!! I NEED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m so tired of being seen as a total loser. No matter what I do – It’s wrong. I work my ass off, but because I make less than anyone in my family, I’m someone that everyone feels sorry for. Even my husband, who doesn’t work, is constantly judging me. If I gain 2 pounds, he suggests I go for a run at 8:00 at night. I’m so tired of trying to measure up. I just want to shut the door and lock everyone out of my life. I just CAN’T DO IT!!! And I don’t want to.