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reveursurlecafe 
2:54pm, July 22, 2009
I will summarize tonight's events with an email I sent ot my aunt...
B. has gone to bed... Mr. 1 a.m. to 3 a.m. just went to bed dreadfully tired... tired of speaking to me with the can of worms he opened.
He is being a jerk with this in my opinion. Yes, I understand I need to move from group - IN FACT one of the group counselors just mentioned a couple days ago (but apparently in all my psycho babble I forgot that one - it must be all the meds I'm glazed off on). The thing is I have to find a pyschiatrist in my new network. Today I worked on finding C's a new one since all his scripts are on their last refills and it found me all day to find him an appointment in July to make it work out. I will work on my psychiatrist tomorrow. I have to take things one at a time. I was planning to get them dentist appointments the day after that. Not everything has to do with "crazy" stuff, you know? Sheesh.
He says I go on and on about pills, and then told me I was on too many... that I am doped up, basically... I'm not with it.
He went on to say that I act like I am run down by certain moments with the kids throughout the day when he returns home, but he finds it ironic because he's had a summer with two kids and it's easy and I act like it's terror and he's out there doing hard manual labor and I am sitting here whining.
He said that I insulted (I do not even remember doing this) so he doesn't want to talk to me, he'll only listen and he hates what he hears. I apologized. He didn't respond.
He said I have not been beautiful/attractive sexually to him since at least April if not February. He said in April it seemed like I was actually "going somewhere".
When I asked if he had confidence that he would get that feeling of beaty and attraction back for me he said I hope so, but I don't know.
I told him I'd give it a month... mid August at the latest and we would have similiar coversation and if things hadn't drastically we would start to move things and change living situations.
I can't live with this pain. I am so hurt inside I cannot describe it.
