anxious,but hopeful
June 3, 2009 7:46am
So, the baby is right on target and the heart is beating well. I am thrilled about this. I was anxious yesterday, all day, about my …
gsquared
8:40am, June 12, 2009
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About Me
gsquared
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About Me
I am a 33 year old female teacher suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and OCD. I am a mother of an almost three-year old boy, and currently in the very early stages of another pregnancy. I lost a pregnancy prior to this one at seventeen weeks. It was really rough and I am in a VERY BAD bout of anxiety and insomnia.
I am a 33 year old female teacher suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and OCD. I am a mother of an almost three-year old boy, and currently in the very early stages of another pregnancy. I lost a pregnancy prior to this one at seventeen weeks. It was really rough and I am in a VERY BAD bout of anxiety and insomnia.
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Website
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Interests
I am a runner (when not pregnant). I have completed the NYC Marathon and a Half-Ironman Triathlon in the past. I am an avid reader. I love any form of exercise. I love being outdoors.
I am a runner (when not pregnant). I have completed the NYC Marathon and a Half-Ironman Triathlon in
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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1 journal comment
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Journal
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Can't believe what an ass he's being
May 31, 2009 9:09pm
Well, all in all the anxiety has been better this weekend. Not completely gone, but much better. However, I can not believe what an ass …
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A Little Better
May 30, 2009 7:39pm
In general, today has been a little better. I am not as anxious, or when I am, I can distract myself to get away from it. I slept like …
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medical leave
May 29, 2009 8:41pm
i took the medical leave and have a ton of guilt about it. i feel bad for my students because they are awesome. i just couldn't …
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I think I am going to go crazy.
May 29, 2009 2:02am
God, I can't take this insomnia. I really want to get some sleep tonight so that I can make it into work tommorrow. If I don't, …
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Hugbook
Little Love
Yes, could be a christmas baby or irs deduction. LOL I know that would help having b/4 the new year. But she will come when she is ready. I do not see the mental health doctor until Nov.10 so it will be a while. I don't want to adjust meds right now but we will see later. I have been improving and going some places but not many just around town. My kids are fine. My 13 year old I rarely see since he is in school then hanging with the neighborhood kids. When the time changes he will have to be in earlier so I will see him then. My daughter is adjusting to K-4 well and likes school. I miss her during the day but I'm glad she has friends to socialize with. She tells me all the exciting things they do during class. I hope that since we will be having holidays etc... that the pregnancy will go by fast for you. It already seems to be flying by but I know how you feel. I didn't think it could be over fast enough. Hope you are having a good week and thanks for the comments and hugs. Stella
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Flower
Thanks for the comment on my journal. It means a lot to me. I like the name you have picked out for your little girl. Charlie is really cute. I know you are glad you are past the half way mark. Sounds like it may be a Christmas baby. I don't think you told me the due date. As much as you love your little boy, you will also love your little girl. I didn't think I could love my little girl as much as my son but I love them both the same in different ways. Stay strong and positive. Love Stella
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Rainbow
Hi, thanks for the support you have given me. I hope everything is still well with you and your pregnancy. Let me know how it is going. Love and hugs, Stella
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Flower
I, too, now understand that it is hard on my husband. Especially with me not being able to get out b/c of the panic. He gets the groceries and takes the kids shopping and that really hurts me too b/c I want to take my little girl shopping and show and pick out things with her. The thing is I tell my husband that I appreciate him and say thank you for doing things for me. But he never tells me he's proud of me for getting help or says he sorry whenever we fight. For a borderline personality disorder person, I need those things but through therapy maybe I won't let the hurt feelings take me over. I have suffered from major depression for a long time. This week is going better b/c my family helped us and gave us food. Over the weekend we almost completely ran out of food. No bread for sandwiches. Not being able to feed the kids hurts me. Our dog went 3 days without eating and I had my birthday and got him food with my $10 gift card I got. My daughter loves peanut butter on a spoon so thats what she ate and my sister made them spagetti. I am getting things together to try for food stamps.
I am so sorry about your brother who hanged himself. That must have been awful but I know how he felt. Sometimes you just can't deal with life and you tell yourself negative things. Thank you for your opinion it is always welcomed. But at least I am getting help now. My meds are the same and won't see another doctor until November. He will be a new doctor so we will see what happens. I am glad that you don't have majoy depression b/c it really is horrible and people think you can just snap out of it but you can't. Hopefully, with therapy I can learn to love myself and life. -
Little Love
Thanks again for the comments that you post on my journals. Your opinion is much appreciated. Now that I have calmed down I am not as mad but really hurt. I went to DBT therapy for people with borderline personality disorder which I have, today and it went well. The therapist suggested I have individual therapy as well. I also went to a panic support group meeting and I panicked but got through it. The therapist thinks that my husband should come in on one of our sessions and talk about my disorder. We have done this in the past but he just doesn't get it. I know it is hard living with me but I felt so betrayed. If he would offer support and say I don't understand your disorder but I still love you and want to help or just say something instead of making fun of me, it would be o.k. But I still don't know if our marriage is going to last. We really didn't talk today. I am getting help. It so hard to get out b/c I'm scared I will panic with the kids in the car. Some days I try. Since school is starting, I will try to get out more to overcome these attacks. I am trying for disability b/c my illness goes way back and I don't think I will ever be able to work a steady job again. Thanks for the kick in the butt. We all need it on occasion. But I am doing all I can do now to get help I just wish my husband could see that.
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Support Groups
Close Anxiety
I have generalized anxiety disorder and I am pregnant and had to go back on meds. I lost my last pregnancy, so I am really struggling right now.
Treatments
- Ativan Working / Worked
- It worked to relieve some of the anxiety, but not all. I can't currently take it due to pregnancy.
- Breathing Exercises Somewhat Helpful
- Sometimes I am too far gone for this to help.
- BuSpar Not Working
- Didn't really help.
- Lexapro Working / Worked
- I have used this in the past and it usually helps. Occasionally still suffer from anxiety, but much more manageable. I just went back on and am currently pregnant. Very bad side effects at first, but most wear off.
- Paxil Working / Worked
- I hated the sexual side effects
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- At tims.
- Trazodone Somewhat Helpful
- I don't really remember.
Close Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
I have suffered in the past from this disorder. My symptoms are not that bad right now other than I am obsessed about my anxiety.
Treatments
- Anafranil Somewhat Helpful
- i forget.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Working / Worked
- helpful
- Lexapro Working / Worked
- It helped.
- Paxil Working / Worked
- Didn't like the side effects.
Open Pregnancy After Loss/Infertility
I am pregnant. I have one son. Immediately before this pregnancy, I lost a baby at seventeen weeks. It was really rough. I have had to go back on anxiety meds to support me through this pregnancy.
Open Insomnia
Treatments
- Ambien Working / Worked
- Very well, but now i'm pregnant and can't take it. no side effects exept if i didn't go to sleep i could hallucinate.
- Ativan Working / Worked
- Again, can't take anymore but yest it did work. no side effects.
- Counting Sheep Somewhat Helpful
- Count everything say the rosary god i do it all.
- Reading Somewhat Helpful
- do plenty of this
- Trazodone Working / Worked
- did work but think i had side effects and can't take currently
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Groups
