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TimBlodgett 
http://www.schizophrenia.com:8080/jiveforums/thread.jspa?threadID=18885&tstart=0
Am I glad Im schizophrenic.The question posed made me wonder.
Schizophrenia. Is it secretly some sort of blessing I fail to see.
Im not happy to be schizophrenic. I feel like I have some force controlling my life that is preventing me from living the life I could be living. Its a pretty horrible feeling. Its got me pretty down.
Comments
:hugs:
As long as your meds have your symptoms under control, can you be happy for that? Not saying you aren't - just trying to kind of lift your mood a lil. It does suck, lifelong mental illnesses of any kind suck big time in my book. I hate having to take a total of 10 pills a day for mental illness period. I think if someone had schizophrenia where they actually liked getting lost in their thoughts and were friends with their voices (there are some out there - lucky them) then sure, maybe they would be happy... but really kind of an odd question, y'know?
amalzahir
The problem is my meds dont have my symptoms under control. I've been on zyprexa, resperidal, and now zeldox and I still suffer from psychosis. My psychiatrist thinks I have a natural resistance to the meds. Yay me :) /end sarcasm. I dont know why I just feel trapped in this illness. Maybe thats just me though.
TimBlodgett
Oh that would make it really hard. Have you thought about/read about Clozaril? It is pretty hardcore as far as antipsychotics are concerned, it is an atypical. They have to monitor you very closely on that one, but it may be worth it since you have issues with responding to the drugs. Lots of people who I have ran into just love it who also have issues similar like you. Personally I have huge issues with really really severe akathisia on most antipsychotics, so I am stuck with Seroquel & Risperdal (but Risperdal with cogentin) as it is like the only ones I can tolerate, and luckily I respond well - but I would only be a schizoaffective bipolar type and we have a better overall prognosis, or so they say. But yea - maybe mention Clozaril/Clozapine - here is their site:clozaril.com/index.jsp" title="http://www.clozaril.com/index.jsp" target="_blank"> http://www.clozaril.com/index.jsp - oh you are in Canada - here is a site from Canada: http://health.lifestyle.yahoo.ca/d... I have heard of people raving about it and really like it getting rid of 100% of symptoms for some. It may be worth looking into (I think I am repeating myself)
amalzahir
Oh and without relief I can totally understand why you would feel trapped - it is like it owns you in a way. :hugs: I hope hope hope you can find a med or med combo that can help.
amalzahir
Oh and the only downside I know of with Clozapine is that there is a tendency with weight gain (like with most antipsychotics, blah) and this:
Lab tests must be performed regularly (usually weekly or every two weeks) in order to monitor the effect of the drug on the number of white blood cells. Weekly lab tests should also continue for 4 weeks after the medication is stopped.
It is because of some rare side effect that can happen, just to be safe. From my research (I was kind of a nerd researching antipsychotics, the atypicals because of my akathisia problem) this one has an incredibly lower rate of movement disorders and can actually be used as a cure for some of them - I forget why exactly
amalzahir
Thanks for the info on clozapine. I emailed my pdoc the link you gave me, and linked him back to my journal so he could see your comments too. It was just easier than repeating what you have already said. I might need to go on a new type of drug, as Im on 160mg of zeldox and not seeing a grand improvement. Just one more thing to stress I suppose. Thanks for all your help though. It means alot to me. :)
TimBlodgett