Journal Entry for October 10, 2007
October 10, 2007 10:58pm
This is a prayer:
God's words to me: Dear little one, you have everything you need to do this job within you. These children will …
Angelleeka
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About Me
Angelleeka
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About Me
I am a potential alcoholic and manic-depressive who practices the 12 steps to stay sane, and sober for 8 years, medicated since age 21, but really "balanced" for the last four years. I believe that I am in recovery from bipolar with the help of my medications, support from my husband, family, friends, a strong spiritual life, lots of rest, and meditation. Expect Recovery!
I am a potential alcoholic and manic-depressive who practices the 12 steps to stay sane, and sober for 8 years, medicated since age 21, but really "balanced" for the last four years. I believe that I am in recovery from bipolar with the help of my medications, support from my husband, family, friends, a strong spiritual life, lots of rest, and meditation. Expect Recovery!
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Interests
My job as a theatre teacher... I love to act, direct, and read everything that has to do with theatre! I love to cook, watch American Idol, House, and America's Next Top Model, among other stuff! And I love to read Stephen King. I love movies, dancing, my two dogs, two cats, and my wonderful husband.
My job as a theatre teacher... I love to act, direct, and read everything that has to do with theatre!
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Journal Entry for October 4, 2007
October 4, 2007 12:02am
I am officiallly a kindergarten teacher and I love it. It's hard, but I think I'm getting it. God bless me and my students! …
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Journal Entry for October 2, 2007
October 2, 2007 11:11pm
School was great today. Mrs Guillory was amazing. I turned in everything except my insurance forms to the administration building. I …
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Journal Entry for October 1, 2007
October 1, 2007 11:44pm
Tomorrow is my first day at school. I'm so excited. I have so much to learn so I hope everyone is understanding. This really …
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Journal Entry for September 30, 2007
September 30, 2007 12:17am
I have a new job! Actually I should say I have a new vocation. My teaching has taken a turn. I will be teaching Kindergarten in a title …
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Hugbook
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how ya been??
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Hi Angelleeka, When I first went to A.A. meetings 33 years ago, the members told me that what I was feeling was the norm. I noticed that new members were getting their lives back. Going to work, working on reviving relationships etc. That was not happening for me. If I mentioned that a Dr. suggested medication, they acted like I was talking about heroin. I was on a merri-go-round for years. Not until I found MICA "Mentally ill Chemical Addicted" programs, was I able to pull a few years together. I don't feel guilt if I'm on meds for bi-polar anymore. Also, 33 years ago there were only 3 women in my group. With a room full of men,everything was blamed on hormones. I now belong to a woman's group that deals with addiction and mental health. If I start going through my SAD "seasonal affect disorder" and start isolating, I will have 10 woman calling me. How can I feel alone with all that attention and nurturing? Yes, I feel very lonely at times, but I am never alone. I must admit I miss my mania at times. But I don't miss my depression. Keep on talking about it. It makes things a lot easier. Your new friend, Linda I
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Hi drama Queen.
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Just stopping by to say hi....doesn't look like you're around but... if you come back I want you to know that you were thought of and missed. Mary♥
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You will get use to it. I took a break once from work It wasnt easy comein back.
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
I knew I was different when I was 8.I cried or talked compulsively,obsessed over death & killing myself,began rapid-cycling age 15.I had psychosis age 17,my first hallucinations,rapid speech,euphoria,superenergy,loss of appetite, no need for sleep,a feeling of being high,nervousness,anxiety, incredible fear of losing my mind/becoming like my bipolar mother,rages,a diagnosis at 19,the depressions as low as the highs were high,the mixed states were the worst.Got help at 21.I love my life today.
Treatments
- Abilify Not Working
- I had horrible tremors that looked like severe parkinsons disease.
- Depakote Working / Worked
- At first I gained alot of weight,and slept almost continuously for2 weeks, but it has proven to be the only thing that has stabilized my manias and I owe it my life.
- Fish Oil Working / Worked
- Definately. I find that I feel much better since I have been taking it.
- Group Therapy Working / Worked
- I did a twelve step group that gave me spiritual help to this crazy illness.
- Lamictal Not Working
- I had an allergic reaction. My tongue was swollen, had sores all over it, my glands swelled, I became dizzy, nauseous, and vomited profusely.It took 5 weeks to see this.
- Lithium Working / Worked
- I find that lithium though it doesn't do enough on it's own is super for removing the low level depression I'm still plagued by and it also helps with stability of mood.
- Rozerem Working / Worked
- Helps me sleep when my mind is racing.
- Oral Contraceptives Working / Worked
- I had a hysterectomy very young--but I stay on my hormones because they keep my sane!
Close Alcoholism
I am a "high bottom" drunk-- manic depressive variety, drank for a short but horrible time, and then switched one addiction for another until I realized that my mood swings were truly at the root of my addictions. I work the 12 steps on who I am (alcohol is mentioned in step 1) and that means I do not drink, and I go to meetings. I have had cravings come back many times as my crazy manias return, but thanks to AA I have never had to act on them. I feel empowered by God's love.
Treatments
- 12 Step Program Working / Worked
- I have 7 years as an admitted alcoholic. I am currently not going to as many meetings as I would like, and I need a new sponsor, but I meditate, and pray daily.
- AA Meetings Working / Worked
- The steps changed my life. Getting into the big book and finding myself in there was amazing. I am grateful for the sponsors I've had who have loved me so much.
Open Schizophrenia
My brother is Schizophrenic. He is one of the funniest, most loving people I know. I pray every day that he will become more compliant so that the doctors can get him on the best medications.
Open Codependency
I am the grandchild of an alcoholic, daughter of a bipolar mom, and I spent years dating addictive type personalities. I have been in recovery off and on since I was 12, and I am happily married to a very co-dependent, but loving husband. I just try not to fix him!
Treatments
- 12 Step Program Working / Worked
- Worked, but I don't go as much as I should. I feel a little strange as the groups I go to are also attended by some close family members...
Open Eating Disorders
I was classically skinny as a teen and into my 20's so when medications made me fat and triggered me to eat it seemed I didn't know how to stop, and I gained ALOT. Now I overeat emotionally and can't stop.
Open Food Addiction
I used to obsess about being super thin and defined myself by my skinniness. When medications made me gain alot of weight I started to eat obsessively. The more I hate my body, the more I hide my feelings, and the more I don't deal with the stress in my life, the more I EAT! I want to get back to a normal healthy relationship with food.
Treatments
- Weight Watchers Working / Worked
- I lost 58 pounds and looked great. I ate better and appreciated eating. I didn't cover my emotions with food. Then I stopped doing it and slowly I went back!
- Meditation Working / Worked
- Working. I am starting to see myself doing the right things and fitting into my thin clothes. I am telling myself I can, and I am praying, breathing, and letting go.
Open Healthy Eating
I work hard to eat healthly. I don't always stick to it, but I believe in moderation in all things. Once in a while I'll eat something fried, southern and covered in butter, or cheese, or a bit of dessert. I do love to eat healthy though and I am trying to make this my life not a diet.
Treatments
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- Pilates, Yoga, Ballet movements, soft aerobics, and walking I enjoy all of these, but I can't handle anything too strenuous. I get overheated and my body shuts down. I like to sweat though, and I like to feel the breathe enter my body and exit smoothly and deeply.
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Groups
