ashvannah1107's Journal

I am so relieved that tomorrow Savannah's headstone will finally be paid off and that is one less stress I will have to deal with! I want to see it but I know that it is going to make me cry even harder it is going to make things so more premenant! I wish that she was here with me right now! I have been watching the news and they say Michael Jackson has died and they are making a big deal out of it because he was just 50 years old yeah it is sad that he died But what about the babies all over the world due to many different things things dont even get to see their first birthday I mean he lived his life and he got to grow up our babies never got to that here on earth! I know that it is sad death is terrible for anyone that has to go through that at any age I just feel that all of the babies are even sadder! I would think like that even if my daughter would not have passed away! I am going to  see Savannah tomorrow I like to go out there and spend as much itme as I can with her I miss her so much and just so badly wish that she had never passed away and My sister had her baby and  I am not strong enough to even go see her yet and my cousin had a daughter 25 days after I had Savannah and then another baby shortly after Savannah passed away and I have only saw them for Xmas which was very terrible and the baby shower is coming up and I know that all of my friends and family are going to bring their babies and Im not mad about that I just think that it is goig to be a very emotional day for me and I hope that I make it through it! Sometimes I feel like people do it to make me sad because they know that I dont have her anymore and I know that is mayber just me thinking that! and I am just very sad! If I get very emotional over other peoples babies How am I going to feel about this new baby I am goignt o be a mess but I am feeling alot better I have to go get that test and the baby is doing good so far I guess I feel him move not as much as I use to but I do feel him move and I know that it is getting kind of crowed in there lol! But all is good so far! * more weeks to go and I am very nervous!!!!!!!!!!!!