i am not have a good day today. …
i am not have a good day today. my aunt, my daddy's sister passed away sat. and today is the anversary of my daddy …
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cls1988 
9:12am, November 20, 2009
Today I have tried very hard to stay positive. I have said good things about myself and talked about what would make me happy. I now believe that everyone has anxiety but it is how we learn to control it. Someone told me that God gives us more than we can handle. Well this illness i suffer from is very strong. God must also think I am very strong or I wouldnt be able to over come this. I have not yet but I am going to trust I am going to beat this illness and put it in its place. I took the first step today and although I had some anxiety with it i am back to feeling ok again. Small steps but positives steps is my goal for now. I am tired of the meds and the way some of them make me feel. They effect my sleep and when I tell the doctor they want to give me another pill so i can sleep. no way. i am done with the pills. i am staying with what i have for now and not adding anything. I was happy once withoaut meds and I will be happy again.
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Keep the positive attitude. i know it is tough. You are going to be fine. The first step is the toughest, I know. Stay strong you can do it. We are all here to help.
(((hugs)))
thalothegreat
Keep writing in your journal so that you can follow your progress. Don't we always remember the bad days but never think of the good ones . I' m sorry i never kept a journal when this al started, i can't remember was i ok of the meds or not and if i was i wouldn t be still on them again,but we have to stay hopeful , i mean we can do this its just the length of time it takes and re training the brain. Its a pity there s no courses we can go on . If a xanax can calm us then why can't we do what the xanax does ourselves. Do you know what i mean? Like i can be in the horrors yet i take a xanax and i'm like what was all the fuss about awhile ago , i feel super now . I couldn t understand for a long time if it was my thoughts sparking the anxiety or vice versa so i didn't know what to work on or how to . But now i know because i'm getting a grip on it slowly but surely . I had a bad panic attack in the cinema few yrs ago so avoided going or if i did i took my xanax , this time i forgot it and went in an i was perfect, sat through the movie not a bother, so i'll go now again next wk and again and again until i break that cycle . To overcome the fear we have to stare it in the face , and we might freak out but we do it again and again until we get used to it and it becomes normal . Your right about the meds . The doctors are dishing them out like sweets and they are full of toxins. What s to say there not making us more agitated . Your doing so well be proud of yourself xxx sorry for rambling on
laur31