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shelbyton 
Well the depression from my last trip is gone now, I still feel guilty over the money. The drama that was surrounding me the last week is gone as well, I took deep breaths and just let it go. I feel pretty good today and yesterday. I got some activities for the kids and it has been sunny and nice for a few days. I did have a big fight with my husband 2 days ago, the same fight we always have. He feels unappreciated and so do I, I need him to listen to me and understand my feelings but he is not a good listener and does not believe in sympathy. He can be very critical and unforgiving at times but I just have to let that go as well. I have been thinking and talking to others about how I tend to blow things way out of proportion. I seem to make every problem a dire emergency as if I strive on stress and drama. I have been working very hard to change this lately, but sometimes old habits die hard. I make myself believe my life is so hard and awfull that it is when I believe this. It's all about perspective my life is only as bad as I think it is and I should feel pretty lucky for all I have. My new goal is to think positive to stop the negative thoughts and actions I have. I will focus on the negative and learn to think better of myself. Today I will not gamble. Today I will be good to myself.
