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misdefied 
Texted back and forth with my H last night for a little bit. There are still so many feelings there. I wonder every single day WHY?? Why did this have to happen? We were so in love and so happy. His xw has made it clear that she intends to get him back. He says he doesn't care anything about her. I hoped this would get easier to bear but it lingers over me like a black cloud and follows me wherever I go. I just want the pain to stop. I've never been so hurt in all my life. What hurts the most are all the broken vows and broken promises and the violation of trust. How can I ever trust again? My heart is in a million pieces. I'm broken.
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I have been where you are at. I also divorced him, but 6 months later I remarried him. I looked at it this way, I still had 2 small children at the time. I had been brought up in a single family & it was not a good place. My mother married several times while I was at home. I think i get so mad at him but like you say there are samethings you can't help but like about him. I could have gotten something a lot worse if I had stayed divorced from him. So even thought we are having problems now I am so afraid of being alone. I pray everyday that he will change, but they say, "A TIGER NEVER CHANGES HIS STRIPES". But I am still in this for the long hall. I can't forget what he did, but I have tried to forgive him. I have no confedence to be able to take care of myself. I have not worked enought in my life and at my age it would be so hard to get a job with no stilles at hand. So do what you have to do and don't care what anyone else thinks. Just take one day at a time my friend....Hugs, Connie
ConH