little upset but whatever...
November 18, 2009 12:25am
i don't even really put my journals into themes anymore. what's the point when no one reads them? anyway, today was good in some parts, and …
Progress
15 %
RiskLovingMe 
10:33pm
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About Me
RiskLovingMe
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About Me
i'm rebecca! if you aren't planning on talking to me, then don't bother adding me, because i will delete you unless theres a reason. i go through a lot of ups and downs. i don't really fit in where i live. lost my dog in may 2009. have an alter named philomena. family is split all over. have flashbacks alot. i'm either depressed, hyper, or apathetic. terrified of squirrels. i'm pansexual, also am deist and pragmatic agnostic.
i'm rebecca! if you aren't planning on talking to me, then don't bother adding me, because i will delete you unless theres a reason. i go through a lot of ups and downs. i don't really fit in where i live. lost my dog in may 2009. have an alter named philomena. family is split all over. have flashbacks alot. i'm either depressed, hyper, or apathetic. terrified of squirrels. i'm pansexual, also am deist and pragmatic agnostic.
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Interests
turning my life around, music, marching band, reading, writing on here, making new friends.
turning my life around, music, marching band, reading, writing on here, making new friends.
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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3 journal comments, 3 discussion posts, 2 hugs received, 2 journal posts
Today
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RiskLovingMe commented on their journal entry little upset but whatever... 11:16am
i stood up to her the other day. and shes been laying off for the past two days. i told her that i wasnt…
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RiskLovingMe gave scaredandafraid a chocolate 10:44am
thank you hun. im glad my profile caught your attention :) im soon making a new account though and i…
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RiskLovingMe and scaredandafraid are now friends 10:43am
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RiskLovingMe commented on lonelysunshine’s journal entry Suicide 9:11am
*hugs* for one, this isnt pathetic. we are all here for support from each other to try to make our strides…
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RiskLovingMe and SkyLineAndSmiles are now friends 8:54am
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Journal
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Scared out of my mind
November 16, 2009 6:34am
My mind is in such a whirlwind. I just know that a panic attack is imminent... I feel like something's caught in my throat and that it wont come …
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Little update 11/14/2009
November 14, 2009 12:52pm
I have been doing a little better lately. Still haven't cut, and to be quite honest, it hasn't been on my mind as it usually had been. Gone …
This entry is private
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Just New
November 8, 2009 7:54pm
Not doing well with the "Love Myself" goal. Not sure about anything else. Gone downhill quite a bit but am still hanging on. Still not …
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Hugbook
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Hug
Alrigt. Great, thanks!
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Hug
Hey sweetheart. I know that you don't know me, but your profile caught my attention. I hope that you are ok. I want you to know that I am here if you ever want to talk. (: Take care ~Samantha~
Superhero Status
love you too buddy.
Hug
Thank you for your lovely message, hope you're having a good day. bug hugs to you xx
Superhero Status
I'm haven't been on much but I've been keeping track of your updates. I know you've been having alot of up and down stuff right now, but I'm really proud of how well you're doing staying with this. (((((hugs))))
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Self-Injury
Drawing crimson lines, on a canvas once blank, etched memories of broken yesterdays, in a world of black. Momentary numbness provides temporary peace.
Treatments
- Red Marker Not Working
- Rubber Bands Somewhat Helpful
- Talking Working / Worked
Close Multiple Personalities
Staring out at the darkness like a lunatic. Who would you rather have...Me, me, or me? Choose wisely or face the consequences.
Open Family Issues
My family is really ironically hypocritical and comically tragic in every sense of the way. And on most good days I sit here and wonder; Am I really related to the others?
Treatments
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Those dark memories still haunt my brain. And still I feel I'm the one to blame...
Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionFull of anger and sadness, it's tearing her apart. She tries not to show it, but it's killing her heart.
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
Bruises on my arms, legs and face. Was ripped from within, and that was just my case.
Treatments
Open Sexual Abuse
I will never be able to explain your actions or say what your did was right. I will never be able to forgive you. And I will now act like I have.
Treatments
Open Pet Bereavement
How did one like me deserve a friend who wanted just to serve? What was there that made her love me, with nobody else above me? When I looked into her eyes, never did she criticize, never did she hold a grudge, never did she try to judge...
Open Bullying
Knock me down once; ok. Knock me down twice; stay away. Knock me down a third time; it's just no use. Knock me down a forth time; i've given in to your abuse.
Open Bipolar Disorder
Yesterday I was ecstatic; today I'm drowning in tears. Tomorrow I'll be smiling; the next day a mystery to the world...
Open Shyness
How do I get this confidence? I know I can't achieve it by myself. But I'm too shy to ask for help...
Open Teen Sexuality
Pansexuality; The true meaning of completely unconditional love.
Open Weight Loss For Teens
This weight I'm carrying slows me way down. It makes me feel like a failure. And now i cry, without a sound...
Open Anxiety
Heartbeat racing, Crying fear, Hunger fleeting, Confusion near.
Open Stress Management
Every circumstance brings stress. And when you let it in, it won't leave. Stress is in love with me.
Open Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Odd numbers? No, even ones! Any order? No, prioritized! Anyplace? No, here!
Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a FriendYou were a wonderful person and loved by all. You will be missed by many and i hope you are now at peace.
Open Phobia
I’ll hide here in cowardice, till I have to leave. That’s not a lie. The bars are made of my fear.
Open Codependency
I'm stuck to you. Like rubber to glue. You're the light of my life, but will you be ripped from me one day?
Open Coming Out
I am me. I am not ashamed to reach out and say "IM NOT STRAIGHT!" but will i do it? Will i tell the world?
Open Multiple Sclerosis (MS)
Type: Relapsing-remitting MSMy aunt has this.
Open Body Modification
A piercing here, a piercing there. The more piercings, the better!
Open Families of Prisoners
my neighbor Brent, who'd 24, just went to jail for 9 years for arson that he swears he didn't do. he isn't blood, but he's family in every other way.
Treatments
- Talking Too Soon to Tell
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Groups
