Paige42986's Journal

I found out yesterday that my son's grandma Frances has cancer and it looks like we could lose her to the awful hateful disease of cancer. I am so tired of losing people I love to this god damn disease.There are so many people I have lost in my life to the disease and I can't stand it. I don't want to lose another person in my life. The hits keep coming and I can't take it any more. And then to top it all off Michael told me his biological dad Tom who is France's son is going to try and come to Ohio to see her. I don't want him around her. He hasn't seen his mom in 13 years and it was because of his stupid bullshit. I am so anxious that if he does make it to Ohio he will ambush me again like he did the last time he was here. I  get so anxious to even know that he could be around. I wish he would stay where he is and leave us alone. Michael has no relationship with him and I doubt they ever will. I am so tired of his abusive ass. Why doesn't he get the message and stay away from me. I am so tired of him.There is to much water under the bridge to be nice to him. Let alone forgive him. All I can do is live well and know that  I have a heart and a soul and that is something he will never take from me again. I am just tired of always being in a good place for myself and having the shit fly and I can't control it. I just hope he rots in jail where he belongs.