brotherroy's Journal

I asked God to help me understand “relationships” and it seems since the three weeks of Him answering this prayer, sending someone in my life, I’ve wanted it to end in as many times as weeks!  I cannot focus on the person sent as much as the person I am.  So, I struggle wondering what to do.  I know the question and answer doesn’t lie with this person inasmuch as it begins and ends with me.  Close friends respond by saying, “Pray”, when this is good counsel but the truth is, when God has already answered your prayer He will not continue to respond in the same manner when you already know the answer.  He will repeat it for those who are not getting it but those who know, God will remain silent.  He will not change because you’re uncomfortable nor respond differently because you won’t accept what He has already told you.

I find this is the same for many of us addicts or those family and friends of addicts; you want to hear it again, and again, but in different words, or you want us to tell you contrary to what is good experience so we are abetting you in what it is you want and we cannot agree to do this.  We need to recognize truth stands by itself and does not need support.  There is no getting around “truth”.  Either you accept it or reject it, but it will not change because we want it to.

I now am at the crossroads of making another decision:  do I want what God wants for me in His divine will or will I accept what He will allow me in His permissible will?  Certainly to follow His divine will would be best as compared to the other route—now, this is a major decision.  I never had to ever do drugs for this would not have been His divine will but He allowed me to fall into a life of addiction, in His permissible will, but at the end of both roads, it will still bring me to Him, it’s just one is a whole lot easier and comfortable than the other.  Which would you choose?

God is bringing us toward Him, one way or the other.

The question to be asked, “Will it be easy or difficult?”