rayne9's Journal

Kris...well I guess he'll never forgive me for moving.  He acts like he'd rather be tortured than to even be in the same room with me or Patrick for that matter.  I can't FORCE him to love me so I guess I will just let it go and hopefully one day it will work itself out.

Kathy...OMG, I asked if we could stay until Thurs. morning and she just shook her head, I asked about Wed, she shook her head.  I said did you want us to leave tomorrow and she said yeah.  Now I'm looking for a hotel that I cannot afford, I cannot make that trip in the morning, I hurt and wasn't prepared for that answer.  Then she flipped out and she and her husband got in a big fight so I grabbed Pat and we left.  We went to our old neighborhood park and ate burgers.  I stayed gone for over 2 hrs, hoping she'd call and say to come back, but that call never came.  I HAD to go back, all my stuff there, didn't even grab my smokes when we ran.  When we got back we just slipped into our room.  She hasn't said a word to me, I'm in tears.  Getting pretty tired of crying, jeez.  Hopefully she'll go to bed soon, I need some water.  I can't be where I'm not wanted.  Jeez. they've been in Jersey and didn't even get back until last night, so I have no idea how we could possibly be on her nerves.

I think I've found a room but going to check out the hotel I used to work at, maybe they'll give me discount.

I had a wonderful time visiting my step dad today.  Patrick and I visited for 4 hrs.  It felt good to see him.  I would ask to stay but they have no extra room, her son is there with his wife and 2 kids, so that's out.

Yep, I must have a dark cloud around me or something.  How can it be that NO ONE seems to like me around.  I don't complain, I do everything that is asked of me, I don't know it seems like it is my very prescence.

I have to take my meds so I HAVE to go out there and try to be invisible..