rayne9's Journal

I'm feeling better today. Yesterday I felt completely overwhelmed with emotion.  I am much more focused today!

I am no longer questioning myself about my character, etc.  I KNOW that I did the right thing telling what happened to Patrick.  If everyone wants to turn it around and make me the bad guy, then so be it.  If I find that I'm no longer welcome, then so be it...

Kathy and Mike will be home tonight.  After a 10 hr trip they have had much time to talk.  I will find out what they're feeling towards the situation is then.  You have to remember that Kathy is the one that said it was "ludicrous" for me to even think about leaving Mike and how much she personally LIKED him, so I have no clue what to expect when they get back.

Patrick and I went to the other side of our beach yesterday.  It was disgusting!   I had to pick up so much trash, the place was filled with tourists or the "new locals" who don't give a shit about the beaches. CLEAR PLASTIC BAGS!  Jellyfish are our Sea Turtles favorite food and they mistake those bags jellyfish,  eat them and die.  After 15 min. of weaving in and out of "people" cleaning up their trash, I unpacked our stuff.  We went in the water, and guess what?  Same trash!  Patrick asked if we could leave and go to the other side, where we were Fri.  I agreed.  After packing though, we decided to come back to Kathy's.  It was late and the beaches were getting ready for the fireworks.  Brian had previously made plans, so he wasn't here.  We didn't get to go to any fireworks.  When we lived here we didn't have to g anywhere, we could see them from our back deck.  No way was I going to fight that mob of people!  We brought our own, they're legal in NC, here they passed a new law on july 1st, that if caught with personal fireworks, well you'd be in big trouble, so we didn't do ours.  Patrick was already so depressed, Brian and Kris weren't here.  He asked me if Kathy and Mike could adopt him so he could live here and be close to kris and brian, go to his old school, etc.  I feel badly for him, I mean we have been in NC for 2 yrs.  Most kids would have adapted by now, I don't think he ever will.  

I broke down in tears...