rayne9's Journal

I feel SO much better today!  slept like a rock, felt good.  I feel refreshed!  Now maybe i can make some plans to get to the BEACH!  Just realized that the upcoming weekend is the 4th though.  When living at the beach i didn't even go in the summer, all those nasty tourists much less a big holiday weekend, however desperate to get out of this place!  Kris knew i was supposed to have been there last Thurs and hasn't noticed i didn't arrive i guess, not a call.  He can't know how insensitive that is, surely.  Patrick would be beyond happy if we went, i'm hoping Kathy will let us come Tues that way we can go to the beach with only a million people compared to the billion this weekend.  Keeping my fingers crossed!  I'm calling her later.  My bro and wife had their grandkids over yesterday, we haven't seen them in over a year, tried my very best to get them to let us come over, but they always come up with an excuse.  I JUST don't know what's wrong with these people, I KNOW I haven't done anything to upset them, I don't see them long enough, lol.  It breaks poor little Patrick's heart that this is happening.  He has no idea about most of the rejection, in the beginninghe did, but I stopped telling him about the canceled invites long ago.  Between that and his missing the beach so much, it's just too depressing for him.  Last yr I ended up taking to a pschiatrist for nighmares and depression.  Yes, it's that bad and with my depression, well it doesn't help.  That's the MAIN reason I try so hard to pull myself out.  Statistically, something like 80% of depressed kids have a depressed mom, so there you have it.  I hope everyone has a good day!